The daily life of an introvert. People seem to think that being quiet is a bad thing – people talk over you a lot, sometimes, people forget you’re there. Have you ever wondered what an introvert’s mind is like? Most people like to interact with extroverts – they’re fun, have a sense of humour, they’re amiable – they are the most likable of people, in my opinion anyways. I have always longed to be the person surrounded by friends, easily liked, and yet, I despise the crowd and avoid talking to people at all costs. I am stuck between the paradoxical world of longing, but not wanting.
Here’s a brief list of some moments I experience as an introvert:
- Breathing a sigh of relief when I enter a McDonald’s with a digital ordering machine.
- Sure, I like social interactions, but, only for about an hour. After that, I want to go home.
- Yes, I become lonely at times, but I resolve that by reading books and watching TV.
- Happiness is being alone at home.
- Practicing conversations with people I’ll never talk to.
- The feeling of dread, but also at the same time, excitement when the phone rings-meaning, I don’t want to talk to you, but I’m also happy at the fact that someone is looking for me.
- Hating group projects because there are people I can’t deal with.
- The need to recharge after social situations.
- Having more conversations in my head than out loud.
- Not knowing what to do when people ask me, “Why are you so quiet?”
- Being horrified at small talk, but enjoying deep discussions.
As a child, I was very, and I mean in any extreme way possible, shy. I was so very quiet in school that people have described me as “mute”. I would protest that in the most polite and quiet way possible, scared of the attention if I shouted. However, they brushed it off as a meaningless topic, and I chose to keep my mouth shut. I was not the best at talking to other people, and thus, I didn’t exactly have a group of people I could call “friends”. I was more of an invisible ghost than anything. I struggled with presentations, and I was practically born to be soft-spoken. I was known as the nice, nerdy, quiet kid, and although people were polite when I gathered the courage to talk to them, I was so very sure that their tone was that of a voice speaking to a child. I vividly remember a student in my class angrily arguing with a friend, and when I approached them to talk about some matter that I don’t exactly remember, her tone automatically brightened, a smile set on her facial features, and a look of someone talking to an innocent child. My love for books, and the unappreciated look of youth that I bore did not help with my making of friends. I insist to you that yes, I grow older every year, but my face does not seem to age. People usually guess my age to be exactly four years younger than my actual age. The other day, an employee at a store thought I was twelve, but in fact, I am legitimately sixteen.
Concerned for my lack of social skills, or rather having no social skills whatsoever, my parents threw me into a speech and debate class in grade seven. Oh, the horror! The horror! Forced to face the reality that I would be presenting in front of about 30 kids, I did my best to speak with utmost charisma and passion. However, I also seemed to not possess that either, so I dreaded walking into that class everyday (Also, I lack the creativity to come up with topics that people would actually listen to). Looking back at it now, I guess it was a necessary but unappreciated-at-the-time-but-appreciated-now part of my middle school years.
Despite all the problems that comes with being an introvert, I can now say that I like the fact that I am one. I am very introspective, and I usually go deep into thought and I am self-reflective. Because of this, I am true to myself, and I lack a facade. I can easily observe situations, and therefore, I can easily read other people’s characters. I think more than I say, and that usually results in a wiser, or wittier reply. I often think by myself before going to another person for my problems, and I guess you could say that being an introvert is not that bad after all.
Perks of being an introvert:
- Your expertise lies in observing social situations and figuring out what happened on your own.
- You’re a good listener because you don’t mind others talking
- You can fade into the background easily and avoid situations you don’t want to be in
- People react very extremely when you say something sassy
- People listen to you when you talk because you rarely do
I remember the time when I said something sassy to a classmate. The whole class exploded with yells and I did not realize that I had “roasted” someone. It was an innocent reply that I had no recognition that it was “sassy”. I guess people realize now that I can wittily quip back, although rarely, and I hope that no one belittles me anymore about me being quiet. I feel that I have moved past the awkward social situations, and I can handle small talk now (Although I’m not exactly good at it). I thought that being an introvert meant that I was a boring person (although I have accepted the fact that I’m not the most interesting person on earth), and that no one else wanted to discuss or analyze the characters of movies and books. I’m glad that I chose to take the AP English class, because maybe, finally, people like me would be there. I am happy now that I know that there are people in this world who will accept me as who I am, and love books just as much as I do. Although I will probably never be the extrovert that I longed to be when I was little, now I can truly say that I am quite proud to be an introvert.