The following is a polished poem inspired by Pablo Neruda’s, ” I Explain A Few Things”. I took the themes of destruction and death and instead mourned the loss of my innocence and childhood, the same way people would mourn the loss of a loved one in the war. There are also pieces of his poem integrated with my own writing. I know this is more simplistic than my usual style of poetry, but I think it’s also one of the most real things I’ve written in a long time. Our presentation on the Spanish Civil War can be found here.
i want to have a funeral
for my childhood
to bury her under fresh soil
and bid farewell
but i’m not sure how to say goodbye
to someone whom i’ve never been
properly acquainted with
still,
i want to tell her how much i miss
everything she was
and everything she could have been
and how i feel like i’m burying
a part of myself
that died a long time ago
but i didn’t realize it was her
until i started to feel
so empty
and all the lilacs disappeared
i want to tell her that i will be mourning
her loss for a very,
very long time,
and so will my mother
i want to tell her that i see her in
my little sister
and i pray that she holds her hand
until she is ready to let go
it will be a lovely service
and she will feel like
the colour yellow
and she will look like
mismatched braids in my hair
when i was five
and cherry popsicle stains on
sticky fingertips
on her tombstone i will write:
the light of June drowned flowers in your mouth
thank you
for everything
i’m sorry i let you go so quickly
i guess i thought you would just
hold on to me
for a much longer time
it seems like i only knew you
for half a moment
but i love you nonetheless
i hope that one day
i’ll see you in my daughter
and i hope she will think the sky is made
of cotton candy
and that all boys are as kind
and brave as her father
i hope there are stars in her eyes
and galaxies in her mind
i hope that my daughter understands
your importance
before you start to fade
this funeral for
my childhood
will happen right before sunrise
and as she is lowered into
the ground
i will watch the light clothe
her tired skin and weary eyes
until she comes back
to my dead house
my broken soul
to meet me once more.
