(a letter never sent)

Dear best friend,

How have you been? Tell me about the continuous stream of photos from you filling up my Instagram feed for I’m sure there’s an adventure to tell behind each one. Oh, how I want to see you again. I can’t believe the last time we talked was a year ago, how fast time flies huh? I understand that we’re both at different schools, but they say that distance is only a number and the bond between two people cannot be measured. I understand we are changing people, but they also say “true friends stick together through thick and thin” (cheesy I know). But they could be wrong, for if this were true, why have we grown so distant from each other?

We don’t have conversations anymore, and to be fair, my notifications are looking a little bare without your name. Yet, every time we do talk, there’s nothing to say; we use to be comfortable with the silence. Now, it’s too uncomfortable to face. Perhaps we have both forgotten the grand dreams and adventures we had made; fostered them for years only to throw them away. I loved you once – I loved you because you saw my worst sides and still chose to stick by me. I understand that time is fleeting, and that it will eventually strip everyone of their prized possessions, but it has stripped me of you too soon.

I remember when you called at 3 AM confessing your sins, begging God for forgiveness; we ended up staying up the entire night, delirious, trying to figure out this big world hand in hand.

I remember the small things: when I always got mad at you for taking the last piece of my food, the foolish dance parties we hosted, the phone calls wasted on dumb boys who tugged too hard at our heartstrings, and the silly little fights we had that only strengthened our friendship. 

I also remember the summer of 2016: that was our best summer ever. The sleepovers, days spent by the river laying on the rocks breathing in the sweet tunes, pool days, loud parties, quiet nights – it was like those cute, seemingly unattainable Pinterest posts.

I often wonder what went wrong as I think back on all these rare moments. Perhaps you just need a refresher on the promises we made together, let me remind you of a few:

  • help each other through high school so we don’t become dropouts
  • if worse came to worse: steal a minivan and go travel the world
  • when we grow old and our skin gets saggy, we’ll build a cat farm in the middle of nowhere

Please don’t flake on me now; how am I suppose to not drop of high school, steal a mini van, and build a cat farm alone?

We met when we were still innocent girls trying to fit into the world, desperately squirming into a mold society established. Through the years, we have truly grown up together, now beautiful young woman shaping our own molds rather than resting on the flimsy ones already made by others. And perhaps that is the problem, I try to grasp onto wisps of a past reality that is no longer real; but there is still a side to me that wants to believe I’ll be there at your wedding as your maid of honour, or even just walking with you through life would be an even bigger honour. But the world does not revolve around me, and it is something I have come to terms with. I may not be there for you in the future, but at the very least, I have the memories of our past.

A farewell,

Your best friend who’s let go.

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6 thoughts on “(a letter never sent)

  1. Dearest Judy,

    Oh my gosh!! Your post mad me gasp out loud!! Your writing is so engaging because of the reminiscent tone you weave throughout your letter, and I really liked the feeling of quiet acceptance at the end of it all. Your blog is short, yet it is filled with much truth about the world. I think that many people can relate to your story; when a friend is no longer physically with you, it becomes harder to talk to them. I guess this is the truth about the saying, “friends come and go..”
    I thought it was interesting that you crossed out the “best” in both the beginning and end of the letter; it immediately introduces the topic and established your intent of writing it from the present, looking back to the past. I also took note of the bold letters of “I remember” – I liked how you decided to emphasize the feeling of nostalgia through your piece, and the format was pleasing to look at.

    In terms of improvement, I wouldn’t want to analyze it or change something as heartfelt as your letter! Your syntax made it sound almost lyrical – and maybe that’s why it was so intriguing to read!

    Smiles and Hugs,

    1. Dearest Kelley,

      Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful feedback! I’m truly honored to have been able to meet you in this class and see you grow over the years, thank you for being such a wonderful human bean.


  2. Dearest Judy,

    Once again, your writing blows me away. You have this undertone of nostalgia and longing for what once was without coming across melodramatic at all. It truly encompasses the loss of platonic relationships and friendship that often isn’t addressed as strongly as a loss of romantic love. However, I truly believe that losing a best friend is often worse than a breakup – for you’re losing your confidant, ally, and source of joy all in one person. I really liked how you touched on the effects of seeing someone else’s pictures on social media and wanting to know the story behind them – but all we really get to see is the surface level, “pretty” version of their lives. I would offer that maybe adding a little more depth to you ideas, especially in the “I remember” section could really add to the meaning of your piece.

    Love Always,

    1. Dearest Alysha,

      Your words have deeply touched me coming from a marvelous writer like you. Now that you pointed it out, I do think more insight on the “I remember” section would’ve added more meaning. Thank you so very much for your feedback!


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