How have you been? Tell me about the continuous stream of photos from you filling up my Instagram feed for I’m sure there’s an adventure to tell behind each one. Oh, how I want to see you again. I can’t believe the last time we talked was a year ago, how fast time flies huh? I understand that we’re both at different schools, but they say that distance is only a number and the bond between two people cannot be measured. I understand we are changing people, but they also say “true friends stick together through thick and thin” (cheesy I know). But they could be wrong, for if this were true, why have we grown so distant from each other?
We don’t have conversations anymore, and to be fair, my notifications are looking a little bare without your name. Yet, every time we do talk, there’s nothing to say; we use to be comfortable with the silence. Now, it’s too uncomfortable to face. Perhaps we have both forgotten the grand dreams and adventures we had made; fostered them for years only to throw them away. I loved you once – I loved you because you saw my worst sides and still chose to stick by me. I understand that time is fleeting, and that it will eventually strip everyone of their prized possessions, but it has stripped me of you too soon.
I remember when you called at 3 AM confessing your sins, begging God for forgiveness; we ended up staying up the entire night, delirious, trying to figure out this big world hand in hand.
I remember the small things: when I always got mad at you for taking the last piece of my food, the foolish dance parties we hosted, the phone calls wasted on dumb boys who tugged too hard at our heartstrings, and the silly little fights we had that only strengthened our friendship.
I also remember the summer of 2016: that was our best summer ever. The sleepovers, days spent by the river laying on the rocks breathing in the sweet tunes, pool days, loud parties, quiet nights – it was like those cute, seemingly unattainable Pinterest posts.
I often wonder what went wrong as I think back on all these rare moments. Perhaps you just need a refresher on the promises we made together, let me remind you of a few:
- help each other through high school so we don’t become dropouts
- if worse came to worse: steal a minivan and go travel the world
- when we grow old and our skin gets saggy, we’ll build a cat farm in the middle of nowhere
Please don’t flake on me now; how am I suppose to not drop of high school, steal a mini van, and build a cat farm alone?
We met when we were still innocent girls trying to fit into the world, desperately squirming into a mold society established. Through the years, we have truly grown up together, now beautiful young woman shaping our own molds rather than resting on the flimsy ones already made by others. And perhaps that is the problem, I try to grasp onto wisps of a past reality that is no longer real; but there is still a side to me that wants to believe I’ll be there at your wedding as your maid of honour, or even just walking with you through life would be an even bigger honour. But the world does not revolve around me, and it is something I have come to terms with. I may not be there for you in the future, but at the very least, I have the memories of our past.
best friend who’s let go.