Recently, I asked one of my closest friends to describe me in a few words. She summarized me with:
“you’re relatable“.
Come again? Did she say relatable? Out of all the words she could’ve chosen; “humorous”, “generous”, “clumsy”, or even “a big hot mess”, the word “relatable” popped into her mind. Being the typical “Judy”, I took this too seriously; in result, it sent me spiraling down a glacier of self doubt. To me, the word relatable is a slang (seeing auto correct keeps insisting that it’s wrong by underlining it with red) to describe a person that is artificially similar to those around them – a chameleon that’s able to manipulate their feelings and emotions in any setting or place to keep itself safe. If I am an relatable person, this means that I am the definition of others – never my own; always relying on others features to mirror, as if mine will never be enough. At every job interview, they ask you, “tell me about yourself”; this is where you’re suppose to show your outstanding qualifications, hobbies, skills, or interests. But what can I do if I have none? What if my hobbies are like cookies cut from the mold of another’s tray? Raised in a school system that strips away precious time of self discovery, they say,
“you can always do some soul digging when you’re older!
If you take away my time by pilling on mechanically rusted homework, how in the world can I create sparks in a dull society?
But I go on, I keep digging, digging deeper into the shallows of my crumbling mind to find a place of solitude to answer the pressing question: who are you? I constantly try to convince myself that I am made of magnificent stars of scientific importance or even the sweet honey that brings the “buzz” to the honey bee colony – for at least those have a name, an aspect that they can call their own. Yet somehow, I end up being the glossed over sand between your toes, stuff degraded from a once magnificent star, forgotten and intermixed within billions that are the –
exact same.
What is there to do if I am not the stuff of greatness; the lonely squiggle of a red underline, always adapting to the misspelled and misused.
Perhaps this is why I am able to leave anything behind with no strings attached. Like a grain of sand wisped away by the breezy wind, I can easily drift away from the shore. This is one thing I know for sure, and yet the one aspect I for sure know is the most unsettling. I am aware that I will be able to pack up right now, move far away, and manage to survive; for I am just that, relatable and adaptable.
This now has me aboard a thought train containing the significance of memories and past experiences. If I disregard the fact that my memories are artificially made, my own answer to the question “why does years seem to go by so fast when you look back?” has been answered (and nope, I haven’t yet answered “who am I”? yet). In first world countries, physiologically, it’s near impossible for a human being not to change biased on the active globalization happening in the 21st century. For instance, an individual may not enjoy the same songs they enjoyed a week ago, this is because of outside influence. Lives move at a seemingly fast pace because of the media and influence you soak up, the more clustered things seem, the more memories you have to reflect back upon. Human beings seem to associate quantity with movement. To clarify (sorry in advance for bringing in physics), Newtons First Law of Motion states that an object will consistently move in a set course of direction, unless acted upon by an external force. Think about it this way: segments of our entire life is the “object”, it’s consistently moving along it’s set path (whether it be working towards a goal or common interest) and yet, there are constantly external forces (for instance, distractions) acting upon it. Now (this doesn’t tie in with the physics part) but in my mind, it looks something like this:
Our memories are sent into overdrive trying to remember every crease and turn of this complicated machine called Life, in doing so, we make our past seem much more complicated and hurried then it really was.
What a “big hot mess”.
Image Credits: http://kathrinhonesta.tumblr.com/
Dear Judy,
This was such an incredible blog post to read because of how you discussed ideas about human nature in such an engaging way. Reading this felt like listening to you tell a story, and you have such a strong voice throughout your writing. It’s serious and sarcastic at the same time – bringing up important ideas without making me feel like I was reading a critical.
I had never thought about the word “relatable” in such depth until now. It truly is a reflection of the traits in others, rather than a trait of your own. I can definitely see how after being told that your best trait is something that doesn’t really belong to you, you could be thrown into a little identity crisis. You also had such great metaphor in this piece – calling yourself a chameleon when you’re trying to be a honey bee because at least then you have purpose.
The tone was one of a hot mess, and I LOVED IT for that reason. I would offer that in some places you went off on a bit of a tangent, and just keeping your ideas coherent and relevant may help with the overall flow of the piece.
Love Always,
Alysha
Dear Alysha,
Coming from a brilliant writer like you, thank you so much for all your grows and glos! I do know I tend to go off on tangents sometimes, and that is definetlry something I’ll look out for in the future.
Smiles,
Judy
Dear Judy,
This piece really got me thinking, and that’s a good thing don’t worry. As a writer, to engage an audience to the point where they are questioning the ideas you present demonstrates your skill at articulation of thought, and grasp on philosophical ideas. And conveying this all while keeping a reader entertained only serves to show that you have an affinity for writing.
In your piece, you utilize a wide variety of sentence structures, keeping the audience from being bored by monotony. You also have seem to carry a really strong voice throughout the piece, as you interjections here and there. Calling upon background knowledge from physics also helps in showing you have an understanding on the message you are trying to deliver. I enjoyed the use of the visual at the end of the writing, as that helped me better visualize the way in which life is influenced by outside forces.
I’d hate to be that guy, but one thing to tweak that could help with the flow would just be some minor GUMPS here and there, such as, “If I am an relatable person…”
Overall, this is amazing, and keep up the great work!
-Lucas
Dear Lucas,
I really appreciate you taking the time to read and comment on my blog! Thank you very much for the nice words as well as suggestion on GUMPS!
Smiles,
Judy
Judy,
I love the way you write and phrase things, your individual identity (which you *do* have) really comes through in this blog. Much like Alysha said, I never got to thinking about the word relatable in this much depth. Everything you said about the word had my mind reeling because you are right – a word like that holds so much more than what most people notice. I understand why you felt the way you did after hearing this comment, thanks to your writing which was clear and concise.
I have problems myself with making my work flow and often get grows explaining such. I learned recently that planning before you write can help sort out your thoughts and helps with the flow in writing. This is one grow I would give you, which is really more like a piece of advice.
Other than that, I love the metaphors in this piece. There were so many I would have never even thought of! For example, “What if my hobbies are like cookies cut from the mold of another’s tray?” Waaaaah, I love it! You are clearly very creative, which is shown through you writing.
Keep up the hard work! I can’t wait to see more from you.
Love,
Elissa
Dear Elissa,
Girl thanks so much for your amazing feeback! I loved how you suggested planning out my work before I write it. I must admit, I always feel too lazy to do any planning beforehand – I kinda just take it as I go – but now upon your suggestion, it’s given me that little nudge!
Smiles,
Judy
Judy,
Let me just start off by saying that I loved this piece, and that I would never have taken being called ‘relatable’ as almost an insult until after I read it. Because you are right–being relatable does just mean that others see you as a copy of themselves, leaving you with no real identity.
I have never thought about that word in this way before, but i have to say that you are completely right. One of my favourite lines throughout this whole piece was ‘If I am an relatable person, this means that I am the definition of others – never my own; always relying on others features to mirror, as if mine will never be enough.’–this to me, summed it up perfectly, and instantly and clearly articulated your feelings in the matter. I loved how passionate you were about what you were saying–it really showed through your writing and made for a very compelling read.
I also just wanted to say that you are many things, Judy, and maybe relatable is one of them, but you are SO much more than only relatable. You are smart, you are a talented writer and an incredible artist, you are kind, and thoughtful. You are so many things, and to be reduced to merely being ‘relatable’ is not at all an accurate portrayal of who you are as a person. Not AT ALL.
In terms of improvement, I would offer that, at the end, there needed to be more of a tie-in, in terms of what you were originally talking about with being relatable–the last paragraph (though very well-written) didn’t seem to relate to the post overall, and so maybe just adding a couple sentences explaining why it is relevant at the end will fix that.
All in all great piece!!!
Infinite love and gratitude,
-hope
Dear Hope,
Ahhh, I am infinitely grateful for your comment for it comes from such a talented individual. I am so very grateful for all your feedback and wisdom. Thank you so much!
Smiles,
Judy