He was 15 and terrorized.
He didn’t even know what being gay meant.
He prayed relentlessly to God, begging Him to fix him.
A fifteen year old boy began to despise himself…
God did not fix him.
And the boy detached himself from the world.
Until, God-willingly, he eventually came clean about his sexuality.
And an angel accepted him for who he truly is.
He finally found love,
In God Himself.
I can not thank God enough for saving him. For loving him. And for allowing that fifteen year old boy to realize that he was a diamond in a pile of coal.
You’ll never understand how or why my heart burns every time someone insults a gay man, for his soul is as pure as yours or mine. Nor will you ever understand the pain my soul endures when he doubts himself because of you.
But even so, I ask of you to try to empathize with those who lost their diamonds because of your actions and your thoughts.
Have you ever realized the impact that those actions had over him? Allow me to share with you what he went through because of you.
When you deliberately threw around words like, pansy or fag, he felt like deadwood.
When you told all of his friends, he was a “Queen” and manipulated them into leaving him mid-way, he experienced abandonment and felt madly abnormal.
When you disallowed him to play with you and the boys at family gatherings, he sat alone in the corner weeping, feeling utterly empty and deserted.
Little had he known, that it wasn’t him that was in the wrong, it was and is you.
But you know what the worst part is, you were his cousin. You shared the same blood as him, yet you chose to be devil’s advocate. You spread hate instead of love. And today, I thank the universe that you two no longer identify as cousins, as you never deserved him in your life.
If there is anything in this world that has the ability to break me, it is the thought of love being defined. Who is to say love is right or wrong? Who is to say your definition of love is any better than mine? For the man you consider to be an abomination is only loving another human-being. Is that so wrong?
Your hatred towards human-beings beguiles me. Why does a man loving a man bother you to the extent in which you are willing to oppress man, as if you are superior to him? This hatred does not only pain him, but it also affects everyone who loves him. If you unable to accept him, then the least you can do is attempt to understand his truth.
It is high time for you to recognize that your hatred-filled energy is not only unwanted but the thought of you is one of repulsion. I plead with humility and love for you, do not let this hatred overcome your kindness and do not let someone’s sexuality become your perception of who they are as individuals.
This is not a letter full of hate, it is more so a pleading request, to love for love.
I am asking of you to step into a gay man’s shoes before you judge one, for you will realize his artistry.
I am begging you to never exclude another being, for emotions are as fragile as glass.
And, I am challenging you to let go of the malice within you to accept every man’s love, for love is God’s blessing.
Don’t be mistaken, I am not doing this for myself, rather I am asking this of you for your future children and grand-children; for if not you, who will teach them how to unconditionally love this creation? Remember, conditional love is not love at all. Would you not love your son if he was blind? Would you disown your daughter if she was autistic? For if you would love them, why would you not love a gay man? Why would you not love your own blood? Why was your love so conditional?
I have posed more than one question to you today, but if you leave with anything, leave with this: Could you live in a world in which you weren’t allowed to love or be loved in the way you deserved? Could you survive acting like someone you aren’t for the entirety of your life? And would you be willing to ruin someone else’s life to cover up for what people like yourself call an abomination? If not, then learn to appreciate man regardless of his differences from your own.
A Gay Man’s Best Friend