Explain to me why
Why do you feel the need?
To look into my eyes
And tell me I’m not worthy
Though you didn’t use words
Your facial expressions said everything.
I don’t even know if you held me
My eyes cannot remember the time they saw your face
So the next time
You think about me don’t remember my name.
See I can’t stand you.
When I opened my eyes, I probably woke up to see the most amazing person that has ever lived
It was her and not you
Where were you?
Probably too busy I guess.
When my brain began to connect ideas together
You were probably connecting with other people
When it should have been me
But I see.
I see that you never cared
You bought me presents like that could sustain me.
What, so now you’re getting soft?
Do u finally see?
I often wondered if u were blind
Because clearly you couldn’t see me.
I was filled with beauty they said
They said I didn’t want to leave her womb it was probably because I was waiting for u
You had one big head but no brain to fill it
They said I got a lot of things from you
That’s hard to believe because I’m not cruel like you
You bought me dresses
You called me your princess
That’s too bad I didn’t have a prince
You were supposed to show me what I had to look for.
My eyes couldn’t open
I guess because I didn’t want to see you
I didn’t want to have a picture in my brain with no personality to fit it
I would have been scared
Too scared to tell u that I couldn’t stand you
I waited
And waited
And waited
You never showed
I had to blow out my candles
The same way I blew away visions of you
You did nothing for me
Nor do I ever want you to
I am sick and tired about thinking of you
I want to say goodbye
But I have to see you
I have to take
One good look at you
Until I can’t look any more
Until you feel uncomfortable
Until you know what it’s like to be looked at and wondered about.
The things you have done
Is unspeakable of
I have no memories
You showed up once in a while
I guess when you felt like it
So I’ll show you
I feel nothing when I look at you
Except bitter hatred.
I can’t stand you.
I ask of you
The fact that I don’t know what you look like
Doesn’t that say something?
Open your eyes for once
You are truly the man in disguise
Except
You live in the mask
Of hidden truths
Of stupidity
I can’t stand you.
My Dad.
Dearest Amika,
I am kind of at a loss for words right now and I don’t really know what to tell you because I have tears in my eyes and I feel kind of choked. Truth be spoken, I really related to your piece in my own way- and that is the beauty of honest art.
You know when I first just scrolled through your piece I was looking for the explanation (the paragraph explaining the poem) but when I actually went to read the poem, I realized that the explanation wasn’t needed. The pathos in your writing defines it all. Quite honestly this was my favourite student-written poem I’ve seen on the blog till date.
What hit me the most was how you increased the gap in physical space between the line “I can’t stand you.” and “My Dad.” It felt like being punched in the gut and that is an amazing trademark to have as a poet and an author. You evoke emotion and that is simply a talent.
I had a quick question for you, I was slightly confused between the switches between you and u- was it a distinction between vulnerability and strength or something else? How did you intend for it to read? My only piece of feedback would be to make that more distinct or to clarify it by placing a footnote and the bottom of your page.
Thank you for sharing your beauty with all of us through this blog and the entire semester. I hope you continue to be inspired and inspire those are you.
Sincerely,
Malika
Dear Amika!
This is my first time experiencing your writing, and I have to say, I am enjoying every last bit of it.
These lines ooooooooh:
“I often wondered if u were blind
Because clearly you couldn’t see me.”
“You called me your princess
That’s too bad I didn’t have a prince”
And that last line: “My Dad” had me shook.
I LOVE the contrasting sentences you used, those simple sentences and subtle sass evoke so much emotion out of your reader, and it is beautifully crafted.
The only things I would suggest for correction are gumps; there were a couple of areas that required commas (or perhaps that was part of the style and structure of the piece ?)
Thank you for this amazing piece of writing and although the semester is coming to a close ( 🙁 ), I hope to continue to see you grow as a writer.
This was amazing!!!!
With Love,
Timi♥