Growth

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“Often it’s the deepest pain which empowers you to grow into your highest self.”-Unknown. 

I believe in growth. 

I strongly believe that in order for an individual to experience growth, they must push themselves-or be pushed- out of their comfort zone and experience new situations and thus, inevitably, new hindrances. Whether this brings upon success or defeat, the mere experience of an impediment causes growth, which stems from unfamiliarity and discomfort. 

Growing up, my reality was my comfort zone. My parents would work long and hard hours and I would frequently be left with my grandma, who filled the empty void of parental guidance, as best as she could. She also worked long and hard hours to instill values in me and guided my upbringing. She told me stories and encouraged me to write my own. She was ,first, my shield and protection against imaginary ghosts and monsters, and then, against real-life ghosts and monsters. She was my familiarity. She was my comfort zone.  

 

All of this was stripped away from me by one phone call, one doctor’s visit and  a piece of heartbreaking news . She had cancer and would begin her chemotherapy soon, away from me. Every day, I was used to coming home from school and being greeted by her warmth and positivity at the door. I had to become used to having no one there, when I came home from a long day.Seeing her in that delicate condition with her face as pale as the white walls of the hospital, and her hands shaking uncontrollably, was far worse than her absence. She still faked a smile, but I could see the pain lingering behind the whites of her eyes, and she could see mine. I had never lived one day without her and there I was; making monthly visits to the hospital.  Not only was I dependent on her, my younger siblings and cousins were also accustomed to her presence, as she was a parental figure to all of us. I felt like I had the obligation and the responsibility to direct and comfort the younger members of my family,while suffering internally and locking my feelings into a dark, cold place. 

Although she was the one enduring the physical pain, I felt like I was bestowed the burden to reduce her absence, whilst dealing with my own loneliness. I was torn apart, but just like a muscle, I had to be broken apart before I could grow back stronger. The aching, the despair, the grief and the plaintive cries were all essential for my growth and transition into the individual I am today. 

Although it most definitely did not seem like it then, I attained many valuable skills, positively developed my personality and character, and was essentially molded into the individual I am today. I learnt how to cope realistically with situations that I had no control over, because I spent almost a year employing unhealthy ways to deal with my overpowering emotions. Since I was constantly taking care of my younger siblings and cousins, not only did I become independent, but I also developed basic cleaning, cooking and caring skills. As well, a shift occurred in my worldview, where I adopted new values, opinions and beliefs. Due to this experience, I began to believe in selflessness, courage, confidence and cherishing those temporary moments and people.What I believe in stems from these personal situations that challenged me to become the best version of myself; I believe in growth, which essentially becomes the source of everything I believe in. 

Those situations you deem to be misfortunes, are the greatest forms of knowledge that educate you about your discomforts, your level of resiliency and acceptance, and add to the complexity of your identity. The delicate hands of adversity sculpt, layer, tear, and mould you as if you were clay, causing imperfections and impermanence. This impermanence is the essence of growth, and the constant building up and tearing down is what defines you, to such an extent that you unknowingly apply the aftermath of your past mistakes, to your future behaviors and endeavors. When encountered with an unfamiliar or discomfortable situation, an individual is forced to delve into the depths of their conscience, which inevitably results in one or many forms of personal development. I believe that this is fundamental to the development of one’s composite character and identity.

I believe in growth.

 

 

 

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4 thoughts on “Growth

  1. Dear Amanat,

    This piece was beautifully written and the quote greatly emphasized the meaning behind it. I love how you established the mood and setting of your experience by connecting your grandmother to your comfort zone. Your choice in vocabulary was impeccable. Your analogy to a muscle being torn and growing stronger was well thought out. This writing was undoubtedly written from your heart as the wording really reflects your personality. I related to this piece at a deep personal level; I completely understand the emotional struggles you experienced as I experienced many of them after my grandfather’s death. To this day, I still struggle with a fear of losing a loved one.

    For improvements, my only recommendation would be to add more text. All your work is excellent quality, however, it would be helpful to include more insight into your life. This would strengthen the connection with the reader.

    As your family group member, I am so happy with how your “This I Believe” turned out. Instead of being offended, you took our feedback and made an effort to implement it into your work. I hope to learn more about you since we are in all of the same classes this semester. We share many similar ideas and I wish to continue reading your writing in the future.

    Sincerely,
    Neha

  2. Dear Amanat,

    I too believe in growth. Being an athlete, one is continuously knocked down in their pursuit of excellence; it is the beauty of sports: one must learn from their mistakes and improve. Thusly, I must say that from the start, your belief had me captivated.
    It was your vocabulary and use of literary devices that enthralled me as a reader. Each word was perfectly implemented; the vocabulary in your writing presented a writing voice that commanded the reader’s attention. The imagery you use when describing the times with your grandmother was beautiful. I could feel the sadness, the hopelessness, that you felt. Furthermore, your use of parallelism- with the input of the “I believe in growth” statements at the start and end of your piece- was brilliant and is something I might “borrow” for my own writings. I must also add that your comparison of a muscle being torn to growing stronger was excellently used.
    In terms of improvement, I only really wished your work lasted longer. The final paragraph doesn’t feel like a concluding piece and I feel as though perhaps one more paragraph could have helped close your work in an even better fashion.
    Knowing you since elementary, you have always been a very strong writer and you continue to prove that point with this blog. It was a pleasure to read your work and I am excited to see how you improve.

    Best wishes,
    Ben

  3. Dear Amanat,

    First off all, I would like to say how an amazing person you are for persevering through this sorrowful time in your life and I hope that your grandma is now feeling better. Your writing conveyed an impactful message on how experiences like this one, helps individuals grow to become better people. Your example had a powerful impact on readers, and it connects perfectly to your belief about growth. The story helped enhance the message of your work as it showed how the experience taught you to skills that improved your life. Your sentence structure and use of diverse vocabulary helped engage me to want to read more of your writing. I liked how you began and ended your work with the phrase “I believe in growth” as it helps emphasize your belief and it reminds readers the main idea of this piece.

    I suggest that you expand even more on your story and how that experience formed your belief. Your work is already wonderful, so through explaining your ideas in greater depth readers will be even more amazed by your writing. Specifically, I wished I heard more about how you had become a better individual after the experience.

    Your work is very impactful which only enhances the message you are trying to convey. This piece is beautiful and I am exhilarated to work with you in the future.

    Sincerely,

    Zanir

  4. Dear Ben, Zanir and Neha,
    Firstly, I would like to thank you for taking the time and effort to thoughtfully comment on my post. The depth of all of your comments reveal the thought you all put behind your suggestions, for which I commend you. After taking another read at my blog post, I realize that the shortage of words may have caused misunderstandings or may taken away from the full experience. In fact, I agree with Zanir and should have expanded on the affects that this experience had on my growth, and relate that more efficiently with the individual I am today.

    While writing this draft, I actually struggled with having too many words and vomiting everything on the paper, regardless of whether it was relevant or not. I deleted a full paragraph and many individual sentences because I thought that they were not significant to my main idea. This fear of creating a dragging story or one that strayed from its original idea, prohibited me from writing more and including more text.

    However, now that I have read all of your comments, I realized that doubting my voice as a writer was a mistake, which took away from the overall quality of this post. I regret deleting the end paragraph, and I might even go in and edit this piece and include it. All of your comments were very helpful to me as writer, and have compelled me to revise many mistakes.

    Since I have seen the quality of all of your individual works, I am delighted you all enjoyed my post and I thank you for the quality of comments that you all provided. Also, I am excited to receive more constructive feedback from you guys, since your comments were beyond helpful. Coming from Ben (whose vocabulary is AMAZING), I felt beyond thrilled that you appreciated my choice of vocabulary. In fact, your “This I believe” motivated me to expand my vocabulary and implement them into my work.

    Also, I would like to thank Neha for providing a second round of edits to my writing. Since you are in my family group, you have already encountered my writing and have provided me with feedback, which allowed me to submit my writing free of any errors. I thought that our experiences was quite similar, so I appreciate any tips to find an adequate way to explain such heartbreaking stories.

    Again, than you all for commenting on my post.

    Sincerely, Amanat.

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