Though I do not remember much of my childhood, I remember that it was quiet and tranquil. A child’s mind is limited to their environment, and I was blessed to live in a wealthy, clean, and safe community. One could say my life was perfect. My family had money, we would go on regular vacations across the world, and I do not recall significant hardships of my past. Of course, there were expectations of me in music and school, but those expectations were easy to meet. I found school effortless and straightforward, and music was frustrating yet enjoyable. I\knew I was talented, and I was proud of my capabilities.
Money allowed me to have the assets that others would not normally have. I participated in numerous extracurriculars, and this allowed me to have a flawless resume and for every application I wrote, whether it was school, a job, or a specific organization/activity, I had never faced rejection. I never worried about university tuition fees, for I already had the money to spare for it.
Despite this, I tried not to take my luxuries for granted. I had many friends who I believed were more talented than me, and yet they could not afford to pursue their gifts and talents. This fact broke my heart, but what could I do? I silently watched my friends try and persevere through life in defiance of their circumstances.
But I moved on with my own life. Their predicament was none of my business.
After junior high, I discovered that I would not be attending my designated public high school anymore. I was incredibly frustrated, as I had moved schools twice prior to this move, and to a child, moving schools is equivalent to restarting your life.
The car ride was grueling, and the interview was probably the longest hour and a half of my life. I did not put immense effort to be accepted, I just stated the obvious and my specific skills and talents; so I was shocked for the two staff members to immediately ask me to come join the Foundations For the Future Charter Academy. I was unable to respond and we decided to make decisions later.
Summer blew like the wind, and it had vanished before I could even take a second glance back at my old life. New supplies, new uniform, new school, new me.
How riveting.
Surprisingly, school was fun. I made new friends quickly, and the teachers here genuinely seemed to care about their students emotionally and academically. Unfortunately, public school did not teach me the prerequisite skills in order to ensure my survival in a new charter school.
My grades dropped faster than ever. Going from a high 90’s student to a low 70’s took an immense toll on my mental state. It was shocking; I did not understand how it was possible for me to be such an underachiever (in my standards and in comparison to how I did beforehand), and and the constant encumbrances of school became too much to bear.
This is when I began to understand the significance of failure.
Failure was such an unfamiliar experience, I was unsure of how to process and handle it. I did not have many hardships and adversities prior to high school. I was so used to the feeling of success, I was always the person who helped those that were unsuccessful or vulnerable, and now, being in this situation all alone was unbearable.
Failure is a difficult experience that can diminish self-confidence and distort the ability to have faith in one’s specific skills and talents. It is a robust force that is unpleasant to encounter, it extinguishes the flame of determination and motivation and leaves an empty void of sorrow and hopelessness. It left me susceptible and defenseless to the unknown and the realm of unfamiliarity. It had left me drowning in an ocean of melancholy.
What I fell short of understanding is that failure is essential to achieving greater success. I believe that failure is inevitable, but I have learned to embrace it and use it as a powerful advantage in order to plow through intimidating obstacles that are unknowingly placed on the road to the future. If failure was not experienced, then the true significance and meaning of success would be lost, the satisfaction and pride would be forgotten.
References:
https://zhuanlan.zhihu.com/p/72666391
Dear Debbie,
I am thankful Ms. Hunni gave me the opportunity to read your blog; I found it relatable and sincere. Especially when you wrote about the reality of failure, and it being integral to the understanding of success — I felt that. Failure, rejection, defeat. It’s difficult to come to terms with those things. But doing so is a clear sign of growth and maturity.
In terms of your writing… I am in love. You have this very intriguing style, and honestly I don’t know if I’m imagining it or not, but I feel like you write TOWARDS a certain point at the end of each paragraph, and then you make the last sentence really poetic and intense. Your writing is very fluid, and you kept my attention throughout the entire post.
One thing I would consider improving on is your sentence variety. You had a very strong grasp on it until you expanded on the truth of failing– you used a number of long, winding sentences to prove your point. (I do this too. I get really into a multi-faceted topic and I can’t help but explain it in extended sentences.) Throw in a few single word sentences, and you’ll have both added drama and variety.
Overall, excellent job. I am now a fan of your writing, and I can’t wait to read more of what you’ll create in the coming months.
Sincerely,
Kate S
Dear Katie and Kate,
Thank you for taking the time to read my blog and really take the time to understand and critique it. Personally, when I finished writing this I felt as if the piece was not thoughtful enough, but your comments really made my heart go *swoosh*.
Kate, your comment made me feel so happy and confident! You are an amazing writer who shows much potential, and it seemed like you really enjoyed my blog (likewise!). I am glad to hear that you were able to relate to it, as I hoped to each out to an audience who has suffered through much hardship themselves.
Katie, your comment was so sweet! I am glad that I was able to express a sense of personal development while progressing towards a somewhat inconclusive end of my personal story. I am happy that you were able to relate to my piece, I hope it could have been a type of closure for others as well.
As for criticisms, I do notice to lack of sentence structure towards the end. I suppose I became carried away and turned it into some sort of critical paragraph, as I tried to relate it to the human condition and make it a universal idea. I will ensure that this changes in the future.
Once again, thank you for reading my piece. Both of you are extraordinary and talented in different and unique ways. I am happy that you enjyed it, and I hope we can continue to help each other improve one step at a time.
Thank you!
Sincerely,
Debbs
Dear Debbie,
Although we had a class together in first semester, and we have many of the same friends- I genuinely don’t think I really got to know you until reading your blog. You’re someone who always has a smile on their face-along with always being well put together, so I’m very thankful to have had the opportunity to learn about some of your struggles and imperfect times.
As soon as I began to read your piece, I fell in love. You have an incredible tone and ability to write. I’m sincerely jealous. I found that I could easily relate to what you were writing- which is not an easy atmosphere, or feeling to create. I felt that you matured throughout this piece, especially while documenting the change from one school to another. It seemed as though you were letting go of some of your past emotions towards the end of this, and it really enhanced your point; we must recognize the importance of failure to grow. I personally feel you did this through your assignment- for that, I thank you.
In all honesty, there’s not much I found for you to improve on. As I said before I am in love with your writing, and I hope I get the opportunity to enjoy more of it. However, I do agree with Kate- I think that adding some different sentence structures could really enhance your paragraphs. I struggle with sentence variety as well- which you can probably tell through this comment, so I completely understand how difficult it can be when you’re trying to get a point across. Personally, I do think that inserting a few shorter sentences within your work would add to the depth and make it even more interesting.
I’m so happy that I had the opportunity to get to know you more, and to let you know how much I appreciate your honesty.
Sincerely,
Katie
Dear Katie,
I hope you see my reply to your comment! If you did not receive it, check the actual blog and check Kate’s comment. I wanted to respond to the both of you, but I don’t think this website lets me reply to more than one comment. Sorry about that!
Thanks!
Debbs
Dear Debbie,
Despite having 2 classes with you in semester 1, I did not realize how much about you I was not aware of. Failure truly is difficult to overcome, especially when you grew up in an environment where you were not exposed to it in the past. But your ability to grow from it and find success in your failures is truly remarkable. I envy this ability of yours. Your ability to make your sentences flow in such a way where you find yourself engrossed in the writing is truly riveting. Your manipulation of a variety of several literary techniques is incredible.
For further improvement, I agree with Kate in that the sentences near the end were very twisted and long. I would suggest making them more simple and shorter in order to convey the subject better. I also found one or two errors in your writing piece. Although they did not take away from the writing, I would suggest proofreading it more than once just to be safe.
I am very fond of your writing style as it makes the subject more intriguing. In fact, I find myself jealous of not having a similar writing style. I am glad I read your piece because it got me to know you better and helped me understand you more. I look forward to working with you in ELA.
Sincerely,
Sidd