they live a life different than mine


they live a life different from mine

a life filled with entertainment and awkward laughter;

vice, vodka and vanity.

they create their own stories

of fake smiles, fake friends, fake laughter

as if the only thing they share

are ashtrays and lost innocence –

maybe even regret?

they live a life different from mine

a life where intoxication is contagious

inebriation entrancing

a life where nicotine is a necessity and inexperience a fault

a life without a care for the future

no dreams to reach for, yet

no fears to cower behind and

from what i’ve seen

beers and bongs have bred more bravery in them than i ever had in myself

yet they seemed as if

they sat higher than their dreams

that wishes were for the tenderhearted, the innocent, the pure.

sometimes they simply didn’t care.

they seemed to prefer each other like that

maybe even themselves too

for alcohol doesn’t discriminate

so why should they?


they live a life different than mine

a life filled with entitlement

and arrogant grace,

for they never encountered

the voice of an Addiction.

for they had their own voice

to use, to speak

to cry for help

Addiction was there for me when no one else was

as if He had been waiting for me his entire life,

so how could i have said no

for i have nothing to sacrifice to Him

except for myself and

who was i but a diminished shell of a human

craving to feel nothing;

for we live in a world where if you are not swimming you are drowning-

how i craved to just float,

as it was more peaceful than depression

as it was more true than happiness

there was nothing to hide from-

i had become numb.

life had sucked everything from me

it wasn’t that i turned away from dreams, from ambition

i simply had nothing left

i couldn’t extend the sight line of my bare lenses

i couldn’t focus on anything but him.

i never got a choice in my life:

my friends, clothes, parents.

isn’t it ironic how the one choice i made for myself,

decided the rest of my life.

He follows me everywhere a go,

like a shadow that clings to me

even when the sun was never there.




they live a life different than mine

for they seem to throw away their lives

i take them

i have honed my craft quite well

i have learned that death is not black and white

but many shades of grey

for there are so many ways one lets go of their life

but i cannot take someones life

unless they already have thrown a part of it away;

their voice, their dreams, their morals.

i do not care

for unlike them, i do not discriminate

i am Him.



This piece had been something I had just started to write in the past couple of months. Addiction has always a topic that hurts differently than others- it scares me. AP English taught me to write out any anxieties- so here we are with this piece. Poetry is something I had never tried before, but it seems to describe the peaceful  yet,  tragic state that depression or addiction may take someone to. This poem comes from the perspective of three different people; someone judging an addiction from afar, someone who is entrapped by addiction, and addiction himself. As someone who is lucky enough not to suffer from an addiction, I used to have always been someone who spoke from the first perspective, yet as I meet incredible people from my life that have suffered from one, I have learned that addiction often takes someone at their worst, emotionally- something not determined by one’s physical or materialistic surroundings. Thank you for reading this!



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5 thoughts on “they live a life different than mine

  1. Hi Trina.

    I think you are incredible. And I think that this was definitely the right decision for your free choice. It was incredible.

    What a strong opening. That first line was just beautiful. “vice, vodka, and vanity.” I can say, without a doubt, that those words together were my favourite part of this piece. Altogether, it was truly powerful and melodious. Excellent explanation of this piece at the end, it offered insight and heart into your writing. By capitalizing Addiction and giving the word pronouns clearly showed the power and control it had over the narrator. I apologize for the incoherence of my compliments but I just kept thinking of excellent examples to demonstrate the wonder of your work and I needed to write them down instantly.

    In terms of improvement, I would just be careful while editing as there are some errors: “a life filled WITH entitlement.” I would also caution you with your wordiness as I felt myself sometimes getting lost in a sea of vocabulary. Other than that, it was marvellous.

    Love you with my entire heart,

    1. Comment:
      Dear Lexi,

      As you are an inspiring writer, ( and my best friend) I take your critiques and compliments with utmost respect and gratitude. It means very much that you are reading my work and appreciating it. I’m so happy that my writing has an impact.

      As for the editing mistake- thank you. That was something I definitely should have seen and will be fixing right away. I do see now how it can be a bit wordy as I found myself rambling on when I wrote these pieces. I will take caution of that in the future.

      Thank you so much


  2. Petrina, my love,

    I remember when you asked me, just last week, how do you know when to start the next line when writing a poem. To which I was surprised because I had always assumed that poetry had no real constructs, no strict rules you must follow. You have to feel it. And that day you told me you’ve never tried poetry before. I swear, this is your second poem and just WOW! I think you have a natural gift for poetry – it doesn’t come that easily to people. The way you let your thoughts flow, there was rhythm present in ever line, it was enchanting. I truly loved how effective and consistent your alliteration is. The diction was perfect when describing what you were writing. I am so astonished, just WOOOOOOOOW!

    The only area for growth I have is so minor. In order to keep the consistency of your poem, especially when personifying Addiction. You established addiction with capitalization, so every time he is mentioned, capitalize all pronouns too! That’s literally it.

    I am so proud of you and everything you have been accomplishing this year. It was truly such a pleasure to be part of the gamily froup. My love for you is unending.

    mia 🙂

    1. Dear Mia,

      I am so happy that you commented as you are the one that has pushed me to even start writing poetry. Thank you for you kind compliments. You were right; poetry doesn’t hold many constructs. Instead, poetry is a form of writing that just flows out of a person. I am so glad that my poem had an impact on you as you read it. (especially the alliteration) Thank you for commenting on my flow and rhythm as that was something I struggled with. When reading my poem I must have just missed that pronoun. (I believe that you are talking about “him vs Him.” I will edit that change.
      Thank you so much


  3. Dear Peter:

    If this truly is your first time writing polished poetry, I can’t believe it because this honestly has such a professional-level feel to it, and I think that this belongs somewhere in a book of poetry where it would seem totally in place.
    Starting with the first few lines, I was already hooked by your description of an altered life with the alliteration of the “v” words. This was a genius structural decision that also introduces us with alcohol, which plays into the theme of addiction later on. Your establishment of the indiviudals who live a life of addiction and attributing them with other themes like experience and a quaint sort of bravery is a marvellous addition that brings together the whole piece cohesively.
    Another interesting aspect was your description of these individuals as people who live with grace, because oftentimes this does give an individual a sense of certainty and purpose in their life. The personification of addiction was a sparkling inclusion to this post that really hammered home the personal toll that addiction can have on an individual.
    For improvement, I would like to see a more natural shift in tone. I felt as though you going from talking about people suffering from addiction going into the personification of addiction was a bit abrupt, because it’s like you’re almost introducing a new character. This could be remedied by just adding another stanza that bridges them together.
    Petrina, this legitimizes you as a true writer and poet in the future. I can’t fathom the fact that you haven’t been writing other poems, so I encourage you to publish those on the blog as well since you have a true skill for it.



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