The Boy in a Knight’s Armour

You wore the sun, daisies and the stars like the suit of armour.

Just like King Arthur did, but you always found that it weighed you down, that your kindness was always taken for weakness and that alone had caused chinks that you were stabbed through by cold stainless steel swords were stained with everything but your blood and flesh; you were alive but never truly living, brought love and and joy but strayed away from it because like the rabbits that you’d rescued because they’d always run away first.

The only thing you’re armed with is a shield, because even though you found excalibur you’d never pull it because you never worthy and excused yourself, thinking that the sword would be too heavy to lift by your noodle arms.

But what you never understood is when you raised your shield what was standing on the other side weren’t archers or dragons that wanted to kill but a little boy with buck teeth and elephant ears wishing to meet his knight, to greet his hero with a mile wide smile and ask him to tell him stories of his adventures, but what he never understood was that you, the knight, were protecting the youth from yourself.

And you wonder why and how you had have become so blind, and then you remember that you were staring at the sun too long

that day had become an everlasting night but you could never see it because your retinas were too fried and your brown eyes burned black and your brain was too dumb to understand that.

But you did it on purpose, you hated your brown eyes because they could never be green and you hated yourself because you could never be like any one member of the league of exemplary gentlemen that sat at the round table. And that made you bitter.

But whatever happened to that little boy? Did he die somewhere when rods were being broken on his back, when his ‘friends’ got their dogs to chase him because he was afraid of them, did he die when he was forced to make new friends and relive as an outcast for years without end. or did he die when you told him to ignore all the chaos and misery that was unfolding around him because he so badly wanted to help and make a difference in the world and see it happy like he once was. I think he died when you told him he was good, and he realized that he wasn’t good enough, I think he died when you told him he was capable but he wasn’t capable enough, I think he died when you told him he was precious, and the world didn’t think that way.

All you said you wanted was sunlight and honesty but why do you consistently shut yourself in the dark when you search, and why do you lie to yourself consistently when you say you’ll slay the beast but you know it’ll just add more scratches on your armour. And what is it that you search for? The boy you once were?

But the biggest weakness? It is the one thing that disables you from flight and separates you from the rest, the mismatched pair of wings; the best of the best and the worst of the worse. Your inability to fly caused by the very organs of propulsion that are faulty.

My dear knight, wake up and see the day.

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3 thoughts on “The Boy in a Knight’s Armour

  1. Dear Nilave,

    I honestly can’t get over how much I love this poem! The themes you play upon and weave together so intricately really do justice to your presentation. You did such a beautiful job on the imagery- with the sun, the stars and the daisies- and I love all the allusions and references you made to King Arthur. It brought a certain air of folklore and legends to the whole of your poem, which made it a very intriguing read. One phrase I really, really loved was “…brought love and joy but strayed away from it because like the rabbits that you’d rescued they’d always run away first.”

    Wow. In about a sentence, you summed up the depths of emotions I didn’t know could be voiced. Your desire to protect your inner child from yourself, from learning to accept the blindness that has been forced upon you, the fears you expressed of never being enough; they left me so shook! What’s more, you were able to write out emotions that are so hard to express in so eloquent a manner, and for that, I applaud you. I also love how the armor made of sunlight and daisies and stars, the ability to be a hero for everyone but yourself provided a contrast between others’ perceptions and your own reality.

    Sidetracking a little bit, can I just say, I absolutely adored your presentation! You have been so incredibly kind to me since Day 1 of AP LA and thank you so, so much for going out of your way to help me time and again. You went out of your way to teach me Chemistry aka the bane of my existence; if that alone doesn’t make you good person I don’t know what else will. It broke my heart to learn that you had to go through so much as a kid- and you came out of it even stronger, even kinder. You really are an amazing role model.

    In terms of improvement, there are a few spelling mistakes and grammatical errors here and there that impact the coherence of the poem. Clean those up, and everything will be just dandy! All in all, Nilave, thank you for inspiring me with this wonderful poem and your presentation. You make me want to be a better person!

    Sincerely,

    Hijab

  2. Dear Nilave,

    There are little words to describe how much I love this poem, Nilave. It touches me in a way that not a lot of poetry does and I genuinely think that you could submit this to a competition or the newsletter. Overall, I just really love the message behind this poem and the way you deliver it through your language and imagery. You’ve perfectly summed up how it feels to be your own enemy and also how it feels to be outcasted. I also completely agree with Hijab!

    The only thing that I would like to see from this is some sort of prose attached to it. I know this was from your presentation but I would like to see what inspired you in words. That would really make your blog.

    This poem is a masterpiece. I would love to see more of this kind of stuff from you, Nilly. Never stop writing.

    Love,

    Liza

  3. I humbly accept your gratitude and praise, and thank you for your advice.

    The idea of attaching a prose piece alongside this is interesting and I’ve haven’t realized that. And even thought I’m not there yet, I believe my grammar could use quite a bit of work, considering that Lucas barely gets mad at me for it now I’m hoping i’m on the right track.

    thank you both,

    ~Nil

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