A Requiem – To Me

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If there is one thing I have learned throughout my life, it’s that an innocent man will always be used by others. Those that are corrupt. Whether it is his parents, siblings, or friends, there will always come a time when the innocent man will be hurt. And it never just stops at once. It happens over and over, until the man eventually breaks, as all innocent souls do when faced with corruption. And when the man loses innocence, he becomes corrupt. Through this, corruption spreads like wildfire, affecting everyone. Nobody is spared.

This is also shown in Khaled Hosseini’s The Kite Runner. Hassan’s purity was assaulted by Assef. And although Amir could have saved Hassan, his own cowardice prevented him. In the end, it was Amir who was corrupted due to his own cowardice. And this, I believe, is what happened to my past self. Looking at myself now, although I’ve grown quite a bit, I can fully say that I miss my old self. My smiles and laughs full of spirit, my endless amount of energy, my sincerity. My innocence. All gone. And I fear I may have lost myself forever, had it not been for this book.

Children are the most pure and innocent beings on the planet. They are incapable of harm, and are full of innocence. I was no exception. I too experienced the freedom of childhood. The lack of expectations to fulfill. The carelessness granted by the responsibilities taken by my parents. I loved it. And me as a child, I was beyond outgoing. I am still reminded of times a few months after we first moved into Canada as a family. We were on a cruise, and out of sheer curiosity, I began to start a conversation with the woman sitting next to us. It was going great, until I realized that she had no idea what I was saying, as I hadn’t learned English yet. My parents found it very amusing. As did the lady. Unfortunately, I could never do that now, which bothers me. Not only have I grown to be seclusive, others would believe me to have an ulterior motive in doing so, and would disregard me immediately. As time has caused me to age and mature, it has also resulted in my own innocence and my innocence in the eyes of others to diminish.

The Kite Runner has inspired me to believe that maturity can only come at the cost of innocence, as represented by Amir’s growth throughout the novel which came at the cost of Hassan. In relation to me, I see Amir and Hassan as different versions of myself. Amir being the quieter and introverted version, and Hassan being the outgoing and loyal one. Hassan as my past, and Amir as my present. I had not realized how big of a transformation I had gone through until I was able to discern both the characters in my head. After learning about the cost for maturity, I have been inspired to preserve my innocence as it remains now, and to get back what I have lost.Image result for Innocence

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6 thoughts on “A Requiem – To Me

  1. Muhammed:

    I’m absolutely thrilled to have found that someone else splits their personas into Amir and Hassan. your first line had completely gotten me hooked on to your post, “If there is one thing I have learned throughout my life, it’s that an innocent man will always be used by others”. What a powerful lesson of truth to have learned from a young age. I seriously want to disagree but I cannot because what you have said is too truthful. I find it rather sad though, that when we split ourselves between the virtues of one character and the vices of another we approach life like a coin; always acting on one particular face and landing on the other, by the hand of an individual who plays a game of chance with us. I can admire the amount of honesty and truth you’ve brought in this post, because of all the problems in the world the robbing of innocence is generally the most awful.

    I’d like to see you elaborate more on this post or topic, I’d like for you to consider this: you’ve brought up a powerful discussion, now where shall you decide to take it? how will you develop this idea into something that is more than a blog post and becomes a revelation? How deep will you take take us on this discussion and what kind of an impact do you want to leave on the audience?

    I’m looking forward to reading more of your blogs this year.


  2. Nilave:

    Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment on my blog! It seriously means so much that someone that I always know I can look up to gives me advice and compliments me! And I see now that what I have written is not nearly enough to express the tragedy of lost innocence, and hasn’t even begun to discuss about how to regain said innocence. I thank you for motivating me to write further on this, and I will definitely incorporate this as a theme to all my writing (wherever applicable), to enhance my own learning as well as others’.

    Thanks again for your kind words!


  3. Dear Muhammad,

    What a wonderful blog you have made! I truly adore your parallelism between yourself and the characters within the Kite Runner. In addition, your images were purposeful, and I could very clearly understand how they resonated with you. Lastly, I want to express my love for your views on innocence, and children being the prime carriers of the wonder that is innocence. I would like to mention that I too connected with your words. As I ready your blog, I thought about the Catcher in the Rye. I completely understand when you say that loss of innocence is a tragic thing, but just remember you are a wonderful individual! I’m truly glad that you can grasp such optimism from such things.

    As for some grows that I believe you should hear… I really wanted to hear more of your experiences as you lost that innocence. You had me captivated with the story of you and the stranger, and I found it extremely fascinating. Hearing more personal experiences will help better connect you and your readers. I truly believe that you have a vast amount of stories to tell, and that genuinely makes me desire more! Let yourself go when you write, and tell us every single detail!

    In addition to Nilave’s comment, I too want to see more of you showing your words to us in reality. Just like in the Catcher in the Rye, who will you inspire to be grateful for the innocence they still have, and will you be the one to save them falling off the cliff and growing up? Personally, I feel a deep connection to that story and our AP quote. “We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down.” ― Kurt Vonnegut As we fall from that cliff of innocence and purity, we eventually conquer our fears and fly into the sunset where we attain the bright future ahead of us. So, I am very curious! Will you fall, or will you stand?

  4. Dear Tim,

    Thank you for kind words! I appreciate that you have taken the time out of your day to leave a comment and suggest ways to improve myself. I’ll definitely remember to make my blogs longer in the future. And I love how you brought in The Catcher in the Rye, I completely understand what you mean. And I couldn’t agree more that, as we are falling down from the cliff of innocence and purity, we will be conquering our fears and fly into the sunset. The only question that I can’t answer is whether I will fall or stand. But I do know that, whether I do end up falling or standing, I will do it while smiling. Thank you again for reading my blog! I will incorporate your words into my writing in the future, and am waiting to be inspired once again by you, as I am everyday.


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