Polished Creative Personal Response to Maya Angelou’s “Still I Rise”.
What is your opinion of the idea that our beliefs are influenced by the actions of others?
Theme Statement: When an individual is immersed in an endless inner turmoil, it is the individuals choice to further engage or disengage within the darkness.
For a long time, I had been afraid of judgement.
I’ve been scared of the rude remarks said behind my back, the statements and facts about me that everyone but me could see.
As time wore on, my resiliency and tough skin thinned out because of criticism: criticism that scrapped against my skin and tore into my flesh. No one could hear my cry of agony because I trod it down like dirt. For those few years, I felt like a wild beast encased in this black tunnel that I had created. I felt useless – I mean, everyone accused me of being fake, pathetic, and a attention, excuse my language, whore – so why shouldn’t I feel this way? In those days I struggled to get out of bed, I looked at myself as this empty shell that took the form of a human. I was so deprived of life on the inside that all I could hear was silence. Silence so loud it hurt, silence that ripped apart every one of my molecules each useless breath I took.
I remember putting on this mask every morning just to show the world that I was okay. I would plaster a smile on my face and smile. Smile so my friends and family wouldn’t be concerned for me, for I didn’t want
to burden anyone with my endless suffering. But as the dark fell upon the land and each twinkling burning ball of flame came up, I tore my mask from my face like a animal that had been starved for days. I remember pouring out every sickening thought through my tears and covering up my muffled screams. Those days my mind was like a collision of stars, I was so blinded by everyone else’s thoughts and opinions, I couldn’t find space for my own. Those nights felt infinite and morning felt light-years away. As I struggled, I couldn’t find peace within myself. I couldn’t decide what was more horrendous: facing the day with a mask that hid so much or facing the demons that consumed me at night.
After a continuous cycle of this pain, I grew numb. I grew numb to anything and everything. I wanted to stop in time, enjoy the company of nothingness and plaster my existence on the wall like a painting. I was beyond the point of pain, I was beyond all emotions. It was around this time that I decided to pick up a pen and paper, I wrote: I am happy. Those three words were the biggest lie I had ever told. I wanted to write the words because I wanted to feel the pen touch paper and physically express something that I wanted so bad. I wanted to see what it would feel like to stop and feel again – to be flooded with happiness, swallowed by pleasures. Using the gifts that my ancestors gave, I touched my pen to the paper. A spark, a spark of light rising up from a past rooted in pain.
From that moment I knew.
I knew that I have left behind the nights of terror and fear
into a daybreak that’s
wondrously clear.
Image: https://www.instagram.com/instaphazed/?hl=en
Dear Judy,
I can now say with complete certainty that you never cease to amaze me with your writing.
I am actually very envious of your talent in writing… your words are poetical. Reading them is bliss. When I first read this post, I forgot to read with the intention of finding the answer to the prompt, and instead I was focused on the beauty of the sentences which you have so skillfully sewn. The aspect of colours initially had me confused, yet as I read on, the entire concept became clear. I went through a brief episode of euphoria in that moment; everything made sense: the prompt, the idea, the text. It was brilliantly structured, as even now, I’m able to find highly skilful usage of literary techniques in your paragraphs, and I’ve already been reading it for quite a while now. You successfully incorporated the prompt into your creative response, and you did so with subtlety, but not so much that it would shroud the answer you provided to the prompt. You seem to be able to understand how people may react to your writing, and so I believe that your structure your writing in a way that your ideas have the greatest effect on the reader; truly a wonderful gift you possess!
Your manipulation of structure was the part I enjoyed analyzing the most. Not only did your intentional repetition of “It is me and it is you” serve as a relation to the prompt itself, your paragraphs mirrored each other in that they were all structured similarly. I was initially quite proud of myself for having noticed such a thing, but now I must commend you on your ability to do so. There’s a level of beauty in the sublety that you write with, as if you aren’t directly guiding the reader into your ideas, but letting the reader come to an understanding on their own. This gave your writing an elegant feel, as if I were dancing around the main idea until I was finally able to stumble upon it. And when I reached it, I was able to see the true brilliance of your graceful creative response.
If I wanted to suggest something to add on to this piece, it would be to add a comparison/contrast portion to the piece. It may or may not work out, but for me, the thought of you incorporating that into this creative already sends my mind into an elated state. Other than that, I believe that contrasting humans/animals and Mother Nature at the beginning would make for an interesting connection, but I also understand that doing so may ruin the subtle aspect of your creative response (in case you haven’t already noticed, I’m kind of hard-pressed to find grows for this piece…I’m sorry!).
Your ideas always quite percipient; it is entirely obvious that you have a strong understanding of what you say/write. I admire your ability to make your pieces relatable to other individuals, as it truly makes your writing quite addictive to read. Observing your improvements in analyzing and writing literature has allowed me to hone my own skills in a similar manner. From my observation, I’ve come to the conclusion that you are highly emotionally intelligent; it appears as if you know how to understand the emotions of yourself, as well as those around you! Being in the same family group with you has been a privilege that I will never take for granted. I’ve truly enjoyed learning from you in this semester, and the fact that this semester is coming to an end is a great cause of sadness for me. Nonetheless, I hope that you will continue to inspire me, both through your ideas as well as your writing.
Sincerely yours,
Rehman
Dear Rehman,
Oh no!! I’m so sorry I’ve moved that piece onto my January free choice!! But nevertheless thank you so, so much for your amazing wisdom, both the grows and glows, I truly loved every word. Thank you for not only taking the time to analyze this but you were also able to capture what I was trying to communicate – this really brings tears to my eyes.
Speaking of tears, it’s the end of the semester and as sad I am, the happiness that comes along with the memory’s will always stick with me. It has been AMAZING having you in my family group, you have (and will) continue to inspire me!!!
From the bottom of my heart, thank you for an amazing semester.
Hugs,
Judy Gu 🙂