I’ve written a personal response (a letter) based on the theme statement we used for our poetry seminar.
“One can argue that an individual’s sense of resilience is developed through their encounters with hardship; such experiences may influence their ability to persevere when faced with difficulties in the future.”
Dear Past Self,
You could never imagine me now. It is quite a surprise for me to think so, but I have been with you long enough to confidently say that I know you—inside and out.
I know that the slightest whisper of cruelty that was directed at you was enough to break your heart. Past self, you were always desperate to please—when you were asked the impossible, you would gulp down the request as quickly as a thirsty man would drink water, then turn it into the very reason why blood flowed through your veins. This behaviour was something I had accepted, until I realized how it tormented you. Whenever I think of you, I recall the times when you promised to the people you loved that you would try—then every failure you stomached because you couldn’t keep your word. You, my friend, were born with the poisonous thorn of powerlessness buried deep in your little mind.
You see, I was there with you during each moment that you felt unable to protect what you found precious. Consider your very first days at school—that place where you would fall sick from the mere thought of being criticized. Do you remember the disappointment and pity in your teacher’s eyes, or the strange looks you got from your peers? Do you remember how your grandfather, who valued education more than anyone else you knew, would take you home half way through the school day when you just couldn’t take it anymore? At home you bloomed—talkative, vibrant, and friendly—yet that flower withered the very second you faced true hardship. Your personality was ripped into two pieces; the half ruled by fear always dominated any strength. You were always too affected by your environment—your mental state changed the moment you were at school.
There was always a negative miasma present in your mind—the pressure of expectations would activate your anxiety, and then it would choke your spirit.
I know how ashamed you were to think of your performance at school; you were considered silly and stupid—nothing but a failure. Despite all this, you thought you could prevent your darkness from leaking into your dream-like home life. You tried not to think about it—is denying the existence of your demons the equivalent of not being tormented by them? The answer is no, but you cannot admit that such an answer is a fact. I can understand; I too, at times, feel that lump of absolute terror in my throat, that unswallowable pill of fear.
I know that you believed in your own powerlessness more strongly than most. You saw people in pain constantly, and came to terms with your own inability to ease their agony. Past Self, you internalized this understanding; you believed you were incapable of making a difference, not only in the lives of others, but in your own life as well. You gave in to your own insignificance.
Now, I will tell you a little about your future.
Your mother will tell you that you are the one who will decide who you want to be, and suddenly, you have a real reason to try. You will be in a new place, where no one but yourself can judge your performance. In retrospect, you realize that you had never given in at all; rather, the pain you had felt—and continue to feel—is the very reason to continue onwards. Never again will you let your fears prevent you from trying; you will not cripple under the pressure of expectations because the only individual worth pleasing is yourself.
Therefore, you must allow yourself to believe that you can attain a sense of fulfilment. Please, allow your past experiences propel you forward, rather than hold you back—you are the master of your fate; you are the captain of your soul.
You are not yet a victim because you have survived 100% of the things you have faced. It’s okay to believe in yourself—I forgive you for all your mistakes, now you must do the same.
Please, let my words be the glass of water that helps you swallow everything on your plate.
Sincerely,
Present Self
Image Resources:
- http://www.stl.unitedway.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/glass-of-water.jpg
- http://cdn1.theodysseyonline.com/files/2016/01/01/635872216106950472-1324437628_past.jpg
Dear Tarannum,
I’m going to start off by saying that I am truly excited by this Personal Response to your Poetry Seminar!
Not only was this well-written, but the choice to format it as a letter was one that really worked for me. I haven’t seen too many personal responses that actually choose to use the letter format, because if it isn’t done well, it could backfire easily and come across as immature. However, by making your letter one of self-reflection between the past and present versions of the same character, you’ve made the piece more interesting and definitely works. I don’t think that many other people could pull off the letter format – so props to you!
Also, I really liked how you developed your character throughout this piece. You had two opportunities to do this: through describing Past Self and through describing Present Self. Both versions were explored to the extent that as a reader, I felt the character had dimension and relatability.
In terms of constructive criticism, I want to mention your use of italics. I love how you started off by italicising the word ‘know’ every time it came up in the context of ‘I know that…’ For this to be effective, however, you needed to keep the italicization exclusively for this phrase. By using it in other places, the effect you were building up with the repetition and dramatisation of that phrase was diminished. By keeping it consistent, the effect would have remained stronger.
Another thing for you to consider is your water glass metaphor. I think that it’s a wonderful idea, and where you used it, it did work. I did, however, feel that it needed to be carried throughout the piece more so as to tie the beginning use to the end use. I think that the water glass could have been a much more powerful symbol if you had emphasised it throughout instead of bringing it up and then leaving it alone for long enough that as a reader, I forgot it was even in use. This is an easy fix; all it would take is some word-weaving.
Overall, I really enjoyed this Personal Response to your Poetry Seminar! Thank you, Tarannum!
Love,
Ziyana
Dear Ziyana,
Sorry for my late-as-heck reply! I am glad that you enjoyed my piece. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. I am so fortunate to have your support.
Thanks again!
Sincerely,
Tarannum