Truth

Below is a poem inspired by real life experiences. While exploring the idea
of trust and how when placed in the wrong hands, it has the abilities to exploit the innocent, I found great comfort in writing this piece. This poem is a part of me; I am the moth, but I am also much more, and I share this with my readers to show that sometimes it is ok to be caught in between.

i have been wrong
and i have been right

but more often than not
i have been caught in between
not wrong enough to be pitied
yet not right enough to be praised
for the good that i have done

i am a moth
who has gotten herself too close to the light

i lust for the sensation
where the sound of my heartbeat
is the only melody that lofts through the
barren halls of the grandiose home
i call my “mind”
where the sound of that steady thump
lulls me into the sleep
that i have denied myself
for so many nights

i no longer wish
to wear the weight of the burdens
that belong to the ones i love
upon my shoulders
that i have offered in naivety

i am a moth
who exists in the air that in which you breathe
the coffee you drink at your kitchen table
i live in the fibres of your silk bed sheets
and in the mirror that you look into each morning

why do you not notice me?
why is it that despite my generosities
you can not admire me the same way i admire you?

why is that
when it comes to trust
i have been wrong
and i have been right
yet most times
i have been caught in between
pity and praise
in the relationships i pursue?

do not speak to me if your intent
is to let loose your ties to my heart
when you feel that the pull of my heartstrings
are too much to endure

look at my hands
and see the marks i have left on my palms
from the ropes that i have chosen to pull
in your benefit

yes,

i am a moth
but what you must realize
is that before you
the sound that echoed through the corridors of my mind
was indeed the lullaby of my heartbeat
which soothed me to sleep so soundly each night

before you
the weight i carried on my shoulders
was nothing more than the weight of my ambition
and the smell of early morning raindrops
and the taste of dark roast coffee was what brought
life to my mornings
and hope to my heart

before you
i slept each night
with silk bedsheets
and when i looked into the mirror
i saw the reflection of my own triumph
rather than the reflection of the toy
you played me out to be

i realize now
that when it comes to trust
it is impossible to be wrong
and it is impossible to be right
it is only possible to be in between
caught between the pity
and the praise of one’s efforts

if you had looked at my hands before
you would have seen the delicate creases
and the soft ridges of my innocent palms
and you would not have seen the scars
that have claimed their territory
on the land of my skin

in fact

if you had looked at me before
you may have mistaken me for a butterfly
however,
now i am merely a moth
who let herself
a little too close to your light

– trust

moth

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8 thoughts on “Truth

  1. Dear Yasmeen,

    I am in awe of your poem, it truly resonated within me. There was an amazing power within your words that I felt throughout the entirety of your work.Even the smallest structural choices that you made, such as leaving”in fact” on its own without any other accompanying stanzas, really elevated the piece. The last group of stanza’s at the end were my favorite, I believe the pure ingenuity of your writing was brought out by them. The misconception of the moth being a butterfly that got too close to the light really struck me. I don’t think I could have chosen a better way to end this amazing piece.

    I would like to know the significance of writing in all lower cases, or if it was a purely aesthetic feature. To improve, I would suggest checking the flow of the poem as sometimes I felt that some stanzas were a bit long, though it did not take away from your piece too much.

    All in all, this was an astounding poem, it left me wanting to read more.I hope to be able to write a poem like this one day.

    I look forward to reading more of your posts to come.

    Sincerely,
    Shyla

    1. Sorry, I was reading it again and I think the first time I read it funny. Just ignore my previous comment about flow. I think it is perfect the way it is.

    2. Dear Shyla,

      Thank you so much! It has been such a pleasure to get to work with you thus far. Our family group is quite lovely, if I do say so myself!

      Thank you for your comment about the length of the stanzas. I understand that you took that statement back, however I do agree with what you said. Constructive criticism is a gift, and I am always trying to grow so, thank you! I will keep your suggestions in mind, and I will make sure to use the advice you have given me in my next poem.

      Now, to answer the question several have asked: Why did I choose to have all lowercase words?

      The answer is quite simple really. It was a mixture of two things, the first being instinct. I am a girl who goes with her gut, and upon sitting down to write this, that is what my gut told me to do. Here is where I introduce my second reason. The tone of this poem is delicate in my opinion, and being the moth, I can say that I too am delicate. If you look at the comparison between upper and lower case letters, those that are capitalized have sharp, definite edges. They command your attention; they are clear what they are saying. They stand taller than lower case letters, and they sometimes have the ability to overshadow the littler letters. On the contrary, lowercase letters are so round, so smooth and delicate. They hold the same power as upper case ones, however they command attention in a different way. They attract the eye, and I believe that only the people who are interested enough in the ideas of unknowing beauty are the ones who choose to look at these letters. For most, if you would look at the beginning line, “i have been wrong”, they would merely notice the ‘syntax error’, however there will be the people who will be intrigued to know why, and I am pleased to know you were one of those people who chose to ask. Why did she choose to write it like this? Why did she not feel the strength to capitalize the first word? Why, despite the great significance that comes with the pronoun “I”, did she choose to make herself so small?

      And the answer to these questions is that, it was not a choice, but merely a reflection, an embodiment, of ‘the moth’. We do not need grandiose letters and bright, artificial embellishments to show our power. In this case, the power of the moth existed not in the sharpness of her letters, but rather in the desperation of her writing. Everything I wrote in this poem is a reflection of myself. I am a delicate person, and I do not demand the attention of others in such a sharp way. I do not ask for everyone to know me, and most of the time, I am not big enough to fit the persona of a capital letter. I am myself, and I, the moth, see myself in the simple curves of a lowercase y, in the name ‘yasmeen’, and it is only in that way that I am so powerful, both in this piece, and in life in general. I couldn’t see it being written in any other way.

      I hope that gave you a little bit of insight into why I chose to write it in the way I did.

      With love,
      yasmeen

  2. Dear Yasee,

    It is so hard for me to put into words how much this piece means to me. It is so hard, but I will try my best.

    Speaking to you as Yasee, the girl, I am so unbelievably proud of you for publishing such a raw and emotional and mature piece. Receiving the honour of being able to get close to you this past year, and learning how bright and understanding and loving you are, this poem is a side of you that I had yet to see. I am so, so proud to be able to know you as a friend and a confidant and, now, as a writer.

    Speaking to you as Yasee, the poet/writer/moth, this piece in itself is absolutely breathtaking. Your structural choices all lent themselves heavily to the beauty of this piece, especially in regards to having such impactful words stand on their own (“yes” and “in fact”). They act as beautiful symbols of isolation and a longing for the affirmation and true, true trust of others, an idea that is inexplicably and heartbreakingly rare.

    “… it is ok to be caught in between” is a sentence (and ideal) that is gorgeous and honest and I want to thank you for offering this up to all of us. Many get caught up on their wrongs and overwhelmed by their rights, and to bring such comforting words in the form of such a beautiful piece of work is an absolute blessing.

    I cannot wait to see how you grow and evolve and learn from this piece (and this class), and I cannot wait to read your writing once more.

    With love,
    Claire

    1. Oh Claire!

      I wish you could see the smile on my face right now as I am reading your response.

      Thank you so much for your kind words. Being that you are someone that I look up to, I cannot even begin to explain how humbled I am that you would think so highly of my piece. This class has proven itself to be a sanctuary for me, and it is because of people like you that make me feel respected enough to share such an intimate thing with you: my writing. I am the moth, but in a class like AP I feel like a butterfly. Thank you for believing in me; your praise is what fuels my perseverance. I too cannot wait to see what my writing evolves into in this class, and I’m excited to have you accompany me on that journey.

      With love,
      Yas

  3. Dear Yasmeen,

    I never really knew you before, but being in your family group has been both an honor and a pleasure. I have never been one to want to write poems, but this poem has been one of the most inspirational pieces I have ever read, leading me to regret of not writing a poem for my own blog. I always see you as the jovial and cheerful person whom you present yourself as in class, but seeing this side of you has broadened my horizon. Never ceasing to amaze me with the ideas you’ll conjure, I found that I could not resist the temptation of reading it again. There are many things I’ve learned from this piece, but the most important, and probably most intended, is this: it is one thing to be right, one thing to be wrong, but it’s not a problem to be caught in between. And that’s where it always seems to end up. Some people will think you are right, whereas others will think you are wrong. What really matters, is how you think you are. Reading your piece over and over seems to make me happy; it re-invokes my feelings on how the world truly is, which is only one reason why I can’t stop reading it.

    I can’t wait to see which other methods of inspiration you have under your sleeves, I how it might help me or others grow. It seemed deliberate that everything was in lowercase, but I want to know your intention behind it. Other than that, I found this piece to be a powerful and beautifully written work of literature. You are a genius Yasmeen.

    Sincerely,
    Muhammad

    1. Dear Muhammed,

      I am so humbled by your comment! Thank you! I wrote something quite long in response to Shyla’s response that I believe will be able to answer your question perfectly! To put it in the simplest of terms, I chose to do so not for aesthetics, but because I felt as thought it only paid the words justice. I do however recommend that you read that response, it will explain things perfectly!!

      It has been such a treat working with you thus far in our family group, and I believe our little group in the corner is blossoming into a beautiful family. So many laughs have been shared already, I cannot wait for more!! You are an exquisite young man, as well as a talented writer, and while you may believe me to be genius, I believe you to be quite the same.

      With love,
      Yas

  4. Dear Yasmeen,

    If only poetry were allowed to be on Personal Response, then you would be getting really high marks! This piece is so…well…poetic, but also insightful into who you are as a person. What I enjoyed about this piece is how personal it really is, making it relatable to the audience. I also enjoyed how you didn’t use capitalization for the entire piece, and when I first read it through, I thought about how truth and innocence go hand in hand. By using this style and describing yourself as a moth, to me, brought more insight into the truth you decribe. Also, I believe it added voice to the piece.

    I’m not sure if you meant for it to be this way, but something I, personally, would improve on is the flow just so that when reading it the audience doesn’t break momentum in learning about you and the truth demonstrated.

    Overall, a great piece and I can’t wait for more pieces, especially your poetry.

    -Lucas

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