Observations on Seperation


*DISCLAIMER: I am writing strictly from the perspective of someone who has never been in a romantic relationship, but have a crazy obsession with human nature. These are simply my observations.*

Time and time again I will be forced to watch lovers trap themselves in a cage of their own construction. They warp their realities until it becomes so unrecognizable that they soon fool themselves. They’ve been part of a horribly toxic relationship for much too long that they know nothing else, and feel like there is no way out. At times they won’t leave because they’re scared of what they’ll become without this other person, and other times it is sadly due to the fact that they are not ready to give up their status. The couple’s joined identity has become a social status and they are much too blind to realize that this status is absolutely worthless.

Now, I don’t want you to think I’m bitter, though I may be, that is not my intention. A bad relationship is a valueless social status because both parties are unhappy. They have been utterly consumed by this facade that they can’t even see the misery they’re in! It’s meaningless because more times than not they are not actually fooling anyone but themselves. Friends and family can see that the couple is troubled but are too afraid to say a word. As for the desperate couple they do themselves no favours by lying, each of them are selfishly trapping the other in a brutal union for a totally insignificant social status.

At times, hope is found when they finally move past the relationship and part ways, but then come the memories. Suddenly this once painful part of their lives becomes a compilation of pleasant memories. Weeks, months, years of torture become romanticized and the truth is once again warped. As if this distressing part of their life held no value in their timeline it is erased and replaced with a brand new story. Instead of realizing that there is now an opportunity for so much more in their individual lives they fall in love with the memories of their relationship. The moments of pleasure are lengthened, embellished and become an affair of ecstasy.

Sadly, some don’t fall out of love with the memories, instead they panic. As if life has never existed without this person, they panic. Uncertainty creeps in, bad decisions are made, then they begin to plead. Before they realize what they’ve done they are dating the same person that caused them so much pain and suffering all over again.

The saying love makes one blind takes its true form during breakups, the love of memories any way. It’s almost silly to think that the ones being tortured don’t realize the pain that they’re putting themselves through, either that or their sadists.However, through all this I have discovered, there is no cure for love, one must discover that on their own.

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4 thoughts on “Observations on Seperation

  1. Dearest Ibukun,

    “Time and time again I will be forced to watch lovers trap themselves in a cage of their own construction.”

    …This was a beautiful use of words that drew me in to your writing instantly. I felt as though your use of this profound metaphor was very influential to the piece, guiding me to look through his/her eyes. I wanted to learn more about this character and dig deeper into the reasons behind their distaste for romantic relationships. I was very intrigued by her philosophies and wanted to leap more into the depths of her mind.

    What was brought to my attention through your writing here was the idea of loneliness. Many people in this world have the fear of being alone, and sometimes that leads them to taking the closest thing they can find, not what they deserve. Everyone feels lonely at times in their life, and sometimes they travel into the mindset that they’ll take whatever is possible to finally feel wanted. I admit I let out a slight gasp when I tied this together at the end of your story…

    One grow I may offer is to focus on adding punctuation to add the flow of the story. While still very powerful, sometimes I felt as though the sentences ran a little too long. As readers, we love spots in sentences to just breathe, take in the information and marvel in the beauty of literature 🙂 Don’t worry, I make this mistake all the time! It just takes a little practice!

    Thank you for this piece and I can’t wait to read more from you!!


    1. Dearest Elissa,
      Thank you oh so much for your kind words, they truly mean so much. This piece was a reflection of something that I had been holding in for a while with little slip ups here and there, I am very happy that I finally put it up, and that you enjoyed it. I am also glad you were willing to leave a comment, it brought a smile to my face. 🙂

      Thank you for your critics, at times when I get passionate about something I start to forget about pauses and what not, the same things happen when I speak. I will be sure to continue to work on improving my future pieces. Also, thanks for the encouragement, ’twas greatly appreciated.

      I hope you have an absolutely splendid evening, day, or afternoon.


  2. Ibukun,
    Romantic relationships have always been rather complicated matter that many people have tried to debunk themselves. Your insights on these issues were highly profound, especially considering that you’ve never been in a relationship yourself. You made some interesting observations on how people often cling to one another despite their relationship being unhealthy. This is a very common occurrence and you even managed to deduce that people do this out of a fear of loneliness.
    I noticed that you used poetic descriptions for relationships. Many people struggle with using metaphorical descriptions, but you seem to have mastered the use of this. One of my favourite lines was
    “The moments of pleasure are lengthened, embellished and become an affair of ecstasy.”
    Your writing style is very intriguing and draws the reader in from the very start.
    One piece of advice I will give you is to maintain a consistent tone. There were some paragraphs in which you spoke from an observational, third person point of view, while in others you wrote in first person. It’s important for writers to be consistent, otherwise it interrupts the flow of their piece.
    Overall, I absolutely loved your piece and look forward to seeing more of your writing in the future!
    – Genevieve

    1. Dear Genevieve,
      Thank you for taking the time to read my post and leave a comment, I am greatful. 🙂 Your kind words have really made my day turn around, thanks for that. I’m really glad you so thoroughly enjoyed the piece and could find some truth in it (my goal was achieved). “Profound,” wow, that would not have been the first word to come to my mind as I wrote this, but thanks!

      I will be sure to keep an eye out for perspective consistency in my future pieces. Thanks a ton for your grow, I appreciate your willingness to assist me in becoming a better writer.

      I hope your day, whenever you read this, has been, and will continue to be, fantastic.

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