I still remember the moment when my eyes first peered into yours.

They were like oceans – though they were nowhere close to blue – and I could’ve swum for an eternity in them. They captivated me from the moment I first saw them. It was the gentleness, the pain, the truth, the poetry hidden deep within those ebony eyes.

All at once I loved you.

I still remember the moment when our eyes met.

We were young and you knew naught of love, yet you were a curious being. You longed to know what it was to walk upon it’s rugged path, to taste it’s bittersweet nectar, and to solve all of it’s enigmatic riddles. So you gazed into my chestnut eyes, not knowing that they would lure you in like the sirens of the sea, and the floodgates of your delicate little heart swung wide open. You were overcome by those feelings which crashed over your head like waves and you were shocked when you realized that you loved drowning in those waters.

But what a beautiful fool you were… You tolerated all your fears and anxieties. In fact, you gave them the authority to rule over you. Those around you would terrorize you, they would jeer at you or – even worse – they would ask you questions about me. And you hated it. You were intimidated by it. Because all you wanted was to be like them. All you wanted was to live free from intrusion.  So you paid your worries more attention than you did your love. You cared more about your comfort, your social standings than you did about your feelings. You loved your fears more than you ever loved me… Oh, my darling, you let your eyes drift away from mine as though they were two ships at sea.

And I still remember that moment – the moment when your eyes drifted away from mine.

Waves of anguish crashed over me and I swear I could hear my heart shattering within myself as you distanced your oceans from me. I was filled, dreadfully filled, with confusion and pain and longing and – I didn’t know where to look.

With all that was within me, I tried to hold onto your hand as tightly as I could. I wept and howled hysterically with the hope that your eyes would rest upon me once again. I desperately tugged on the silver chain that hugged your neck, pulled at the shirt that rested gracefully upon your shoulders, grappled your sweet cardigan… I promise you that I did all that I could.

But all at once I lost you.

Where did you go?

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References:

https://www.etsy.com/ca/listing/183825411/eyes-shut-drip-painting-watercolor-print?ref=unav_listing-other
http://www.cavetocanvas.com/post/11845823089/artandopinion-sea-1971-eduard-tomek
Print Paula Bonet – Llorar mares y que se te queden dentro