“Sea” by Eduard Tomek

I still remember the moment when my eyes first peered into yours.

They were like oceans – though they were nowhere close to blue – and I could’ve swum for an eternity in them. They captivated me from the moment I first saw them. It was the gentleness, the pain, the truth, the poetry hidden deep within those ebony eyes.

All at once I loved you.

I still remember the moment when our eyes met.

We were young and you knew naught of love, yet you were a curious being. You longed to know what it was to walk upon it’s rugged path, to taste it’s bittersweet nectar, and to solve all of it’s enigmatic riddles. So you gazed into my chestnut eyes, not knowing that they would lure you in like the sirens of the sea, and the floodgates of your delicate little heart swung wide open. You were overcome by those feelings which crashed over your head like waves and you were shocked when you realized that you loved drowning in those waters.

“Llorar Mares Y Que Se Te Queden Dentro” by Lamina Paula Bonet

But what a beautiful fool you were… You tolerated all your fears and anxieties. In fact, you gave them the authority to rule over you. Those around you would terrorize you, they would jeer at you or – even worse – they would ask you questions about me. And you hated it. You were intimidated by it. Because all you wanted was to be like them. All you wanted was to live free from intrusion.  So you paid your worries more attention than you did your love. You cared more about your comfort, your social standings than you did about your feelings. You loved your fears more than you ever loved me… Oh, my darling, you let your eyes drift away from mine as though they were two ships at sea.

And I still remember that moment – the moment when your eyes drifted away from mine.

Waves of anguish crashed over me and I swear I could hear my heart shattering within myself as you distanced your oceans from me. I was filled, dreadfully filled, with confusion and pain and longing and – I didn’t know where to look.

With all that was within me, I tried to hold onto your hand as tightly as I could. I wept and howled hysterically with the hope that your eyes would rest upon me once again. I desperately tugged on the silver chain that hugged your neck, pulled at the shirt that rested gracefully upon your shoulders, grappled your sweet cardigan… I promise you that I did all that I could.

But all at once I lost you.

Where did you go?


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2 thoughts on “Lost

  1. Dear Vanessa,


    The one word I could possibly use to describe this piece was breathtaking.

    I am sitting here with tears in my eyes, over a story I have barely skimmed the surface of. And I am afraid to break the surface of this piece, to disturb the calm residing over something with such turmoil within. Because if I do, the water from my eyes will escape and join this rushing sea of old hope and forgotten names.

    Thank you for this stunning, stunning, breathtaking piece.

    With love,

  2. Dear Vanessa,
    Wow. Amazing piece, I absolutely fell in love with it. Your language and imagery was incredibly beautiful and I could feel your emotions in every single word.
    Just knowing you personally as a friend and knowing what you’ve been through I think this just helps me to better understand you through this piece. There is something that’s incredibly raw about what you wrote and yet it is also poetic.
    The thing with love- if I interpret this correctly- is that it appears in so many different forms. It is never easy, and yet often times it is a course that most individuals don’t want to get off of because they love the thrill of it.
    Just in these few paragraphs Vanessa you managed to convey the journey. And I think that’s a beautiful gift. Your voice is poignant and incredibly passionate. It’s amazing to read.
    I only have one suggestion for you, and I hope you will know that I only think they will help the piece to excel beyond what it is right now. In your paragraph that starts with, “with all that was within me…” while I think the description was good, I don’t think it suited this piece in particular. Only because you compare everything else about him to something beautiful and eternal while clothes and chains are materialistic items. I hope that makes sense?
    Besides that, I really can’t find anything else to critique. I think you did a beautiful job. Fantastic work.


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