Free Choice: Everything is Quiet…

Everything is quiet

there is a party going on

it’s silent

but every now and then

someone will say something

the room is filled with silent conversation

 

Everyone is dressed in their best

but everyone strangely looks the same

and they are all okay

at least its how it seems

with that look

that is plastered on their face

no matter what emotion is shown

they look strangly the same

their masks cover their what was different

and all it says is I am ok

their empty eyes don’t disagree

 

The dancing has just begun

and most join in

they all move as one

on their perfectly adjusted stilts

all set for the same height

all doing the same thing

 

But then a man stops

embarrassment flows through him

he bends down

and gropes for one of his colour contacts

two people come

they grab him

he is dragged away

 

A woman trips

and her mask falls off

she has a scar on her cheek

about it she is kind of meek

tears are streaming down her face

two people come

they grab her

she is dragged away

 

One man yells about this

what he calls injustice

two people come

they grab him

he is dragged away

 

If you look close enough

there are to drips falling from a chin

the hand of the one who owns the chin

catches them before they hit the floor

 

Though it is seen

that people are being taken

no one does a thing

but not a word is said

they are a silent dead

 

Some now laugh

and spit in the faces

of those who showed imperfection

and wake away

 

Far away, a girl sits

great drops fall from her eyes

a mask lays shattered on the ground

but the tears are not sad…

she is laughing

because it feels so good

to be free.

 

Judgement is rampant through our world. Very few enjoy being judged. And to avoid it, humans avoid being different. Humans set ideal things that people should be like. And that can sometimes be good, if it is characteristics you are trying to develop, however when it comes to the physical or emotional (minus trying to control emotions,) realm of things it does more harm then good. Standards are set that choke who a person is into a mould. But when one breaks free of this mould it is so refreshing. That is what is being transmitted here. The silence is people being unwilling to speak out about this unkindness. Everyone wants to impress someone, so people do there best, or in the case of this poem the dress their best.  Because nobody wants to be different, they all want to be the same; with their stilts, their colour contacts, and the reaction to the scar. Because emotions to say that one is not ok is shunned, they all try to hide, under masks. Speaking up is “bad” because you look different and you go against the normality. But it all is just so choking for one to go though and try to hid who they are; and it is a relief to finally be free.

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

6 thoughts on “Free Choice: Everything is Quiet…

  1. Joel,

    This is absolutely beautiful. The use of symbols, and the poem itself; a work of art.
    when you wrote: “but everyone strangely looks the same

    and they are all okay

    at least its how it seems

    with that look

    that is plastered on their face

    no matter what emotion is shown

    they look strangle the same

    their masks cover their what was different

    and all it says is I am ok”, completely blew me away. It is the essence of conformity and essentially the wanting to impress others that destroys our individuality. It is like keeping a raging beast in a tiny cage and expecting it to just sit idly by.

  2. Joel,

    I just want you to know that I love your poem. I really and truly connected with it, with the message for which it stands.

    The subject on which your poem is based is something that I think we have all felt at least once in our lifetimes–the feeling of “I need to hide who I am, because I want to fit in.” It is pretty sad that the society in which we live puts that pressure on us; the pressure of conformity, and of ‘fitting the mold’.

    I love the fact that your sentences are fragmented and short, for I really think that the simplicity adds an element of sad honesty to the piece, if that makes sense. Also, I don’t know if you meant to do this, but I noticed that you didn’t have any punctuation in the entire poem, save for the end. It’s almost like it could be read as one sentence, and I actually really liked that, for it made the last stanza feel final, like it was wrapping up the whole poem.

    I personally loved the line;

    “. . .and all it says is I am ok

    their empty eyes don’t disagree”

    That line accurately portrays the monotony of being like every one else, but also the emptiness and numbness that comes with conformity; like everyone is dead inside because they have put all of their energy into running from who they are. It’s like everyone has lost the spark that once glittered in their eyes, and without that they are just a ghost of who they once were.

    The only thing that I noticed was grammar in your explanation of your poem. A few things were used in the wrong context which caused the sentences to be choppy, but all in all I really love your blog.

    Infinite love and gratitude,

    Hope

  3. Joel,
    sorry i didn’t get to finish my comment.
    This is absolutely beautiful. The use of symbols, and the poem itself; a work of art.
    when you wrote: “but everyone strangely looks the same

    and they are all okay

    at least its how it seems

    with that look

    that is plastered on their face

    no matter what emotion is shown

    they look strangle the same

    their masks cover their what was different

    and all it says is I am ok”, completely blew me away. It is the essence of conformity and essentially the wanting to impress others that destroys our individuality. It is like keeping a raging beast in a tiny cage and expecting it to just sit idly by. Judgement is a very critical issue in this world and it is sad to say that hasn’t been eradicated at all; just taking the form to avoid being hunted. I believe the message you’re trying to convey here is that judgement robs the natural beauty of the human being and in its place replaces it with a desire for conformity, leading to a craving for false satisfaction. This post I just cannot describe in it tangible words, it is so incredible. Joel keep up the good work.

    as for what you could work on, I saw some kinks in grammar here and there, otherwise nothing sir!

    Sincerely, Nilave

  4. Dear Joel,

    I’m typing this from my phone because I am at a basketball meeting so please forgive me for being brief.

    I’d have to say that I am IMPRESSED with your attempt at poetry. Poetry is quite complex to formulate and often, it is not just the the writing that is difficult. Our bodies and minds need to be relaxed, because if we force poetry to come out, it feels constrained and sounds choppy. Also, the theme we are trying to express through figurative language needs to be expressed, well, “poetically”. I also really liked how you tried to put rhymes into the poem.
    The theme you decided to go with is a very powerful one, and the way you expressed it indirectly through imagery and realism was rhetorically amazing. I think you have potential as a poet.

    A few things I would like to note. I’m no expert, but you’re poem sounds a BIT uneven. At places where you move them to the next line, you could have kept them as 1 full sentence.
    Also, in poetry I believe the first letter of every line should be capitalized and here should be commas at the end of each, with a period to end the sentence.

    Once again, I apologize for how brief this is and I promise my next comment to you will be a lot more wholesome.

    Have a wonderful weekend Joel 🙂

    Sincerely,
    Timi

  5. Dear Joel,

    I love this, I really do! I can see inklings of the techniques I use in order to dramatize your piece, and I have to say that it worked very well. While there are a few errors here and there, be sure to edit after, I can hear your voice in this. Your style is very apparent, and your explanation shows a very cultured mind, despite your age. This is something that many adults fail to obtain, the “maturity” of having a higher thinking. Be proud of what you have written.

    Now, the imagery is so so so fabulous! You used simple sentences, and repetition, and it worked so well. The almost adult-like writing is something to be envious of. Joel, you did a fantastic job, keep at it!

    ~With love,

    Bryna Anne

  6. Dear Joel,

    this is your first attempt at poetry that I have seen and I must say that it was a fascinating exploration of your mind. Reading your words seemed as though someone else’s writing, for as a person, I’d never have guessed that you would think up such a beautifully dystopian plot. I enjoyed your structure and appreciated your stylistic choice to use poetry in the exploration with a concept more common to short stories. I greatly appreciated the courage behind such a risk.

    If I could offer any support, I would say to watch for your GUMPS. In a few sections I was lost as to what was trying to be conveyed because of spelling or grammatical errors. I would also offer that in your explanation of your piece, you may want to focus more on the matter of the concept rather than a justification of your poem itself. Perhaps a more insightful exploration could be aided by a justification? Either way, I feel that this would have made this piece even more eloquent.

    Lastly, I again would like to express my respect for this piece and would offer to you a question: If everyone tried to be different, do you think we would simply end up being the same again? Is man inherently a pack animal that binds together even when attempting to be different? Look at fashion; the “hipster” movement in essence has failed, because everyone trying to be different have created their own community where they are the same.

    Sincerely,
    Siddharth

Leave a Reply to brynana Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *