Two Simple Words

Who would’ve known that two simple words could hold such power, such depth, such misery? 

Two simple words which didn’t merely slip from the surface of your tongue, which didn’t merely linger on your lips. But words which are whispered by the look in your lustrous brown eyes, the bitterness lurking behind your soft smile, the anguish reflected through your actions. 

I had no idea that those two words bore enough potency to put an end to the dreaming, the wishful thinking. That they had the ability to shatter an already shattered heart; the ability to allow sorrow to transcend my joy, tears to transcend my laughter. 

I didn’t know that two words could be so identical to the ocean – a sensational sight from the shore, but a deep domicile of darkness from within. That they could tear two hearts apart while attempting to bring them together, while attempting to synthesize some sort of solace between them. That they could destroy those hearts while trying to mend them; that they could bring such dreadful dejection when they meant only to bring consolation. I didn’t know that two words could be so paradoxical, so ironic in all that they are. 

I never thought that those two words had enough audacity to turn my sanity into madness; to ensure that I keep my heart away from yours when all it wants is to remain wrapped in your arms. To turn my singing, my dancing into silence, stillness; to snatch my wings from my back and my crown from my head. To turn our hope of being together into the sting of seperation. I never thought they’d remind me what it feels like to have a life void of your love – to have a hand that can’t hold onto yours, eyes that can’t look into yours, a soul that can never be yours. I never thought they’d remind me what it sounds like to hear your wounded heart say goodbye to me once again.

Who would’ve known that two words would remind me that perhaps some things aren’t meant to be? That perhaps some stories are better left unfinished and that perhaps ours is one of those…? 

You spoke those two simple words: “I’m sorry.”
And I… I replied with two more: “It’s okay.”

Five years aren’t easy to forget… But the two simple words we exchanged have left me with no choice…

“Sem Titulo” by Netinho Maia

References:
http://blog.netinhomaia.com/2012/01/mais-profundo.html

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6 thoughts on “Two Simple Words

  1. Dearest Vanessa,

    We were taught from young that an apology is the first step in mending our mistakes. Little did we know that those two words held more power over our hearts than just redemption and happiness. Your blog has reminded me of the power of destruction that “I’m sorry” has on us as individuals.

    When you spoke about the words -I’m sorry- creating a void in your life, I must say it couldn’t have been more accurate. For you can not argue with those two words, you can only accept them. And when we look back on the truth of those relationships that have ended with “I’m sorry,” we feel a sense of helplessness, for there is no way we could’ve saved it.

    I can’t help but relate to your story of heartbreak, for it has been a big part of my life too. So I thank you for sharing with me a part of your soul that is vulnerable and naive. Always remember that no matter how bitter the ending, every relationship is about the journey. I’d like to have faith in the idea that every person comes into your life for a reason, to make you stronger. So please do not look back on your journey with only sorrow, look back on it with pride, for it’s not easy to love for so long and end with only pain.

    Every relationship in life will be bitter-sweet, we just have to learn how to love both-the bitter and the sweet. And I know your warm and forever-loving soul will do so with open arms.

    Thank you for taking me back in time, to a place where “I’m sorry” was the heart break of my life. The heart-break that made me stronger. And I pray it will do the same for you.

    Lots & Lots of Love,
    Malika

    1. Dearest Malika,

      Thank you so much for reminding me of the strength that springs from brokenness. I am truly humbled by your kind, encouraging words and I thank you for sharing a piece of your heart and a piece of your mind with me.

      I’m infinitely grateful.

      Lots and lots of love back to you,

      Vanessa

  2. Dear Vanessa,

    When I read your work, my heart becomes flooded with emotion and my soul becomes humbled, soothed by the poetic aura your words create. This piece is heart-wrenching, yet it lulls me like a melody- you make your sorrow into beauty.
    Like Malika said previously, thank you for sharing that vulnerable part of you with all of us, it is truly an honour.

    Your conclusion stole the sorrowful sigh from my lungs; the honesty intertwined in a solemn, stinging truth. I also loved the metaphor of the ocean, the comparison was thoughtful and truthful- very well done. The only advice I would offer concerns you more so than your writing, and that is to write all that you can; poems, stories, plays, ect. Because I know how writing consoles you, in a way most people cannot.

    Once again Vanessa you have left me breathless, in a beautiful silence.

    – Emily

    1. Dearest Emily,

      I am truly and incredibly humbled – it’s words like yours that push me to keep writing in the best and the worst of times. So I would like to thank you from the depths of my heart. I’m thankful that I have the opportunity to write, and I assure you that I will only cease to do so when I breathe my last.

      Thank you once again.

      Love,

      Vanessa

  3. Dear Vanessa,

    Wow. Just wow.
    My favourite part of this piece is the juxtaposition, especially with the ocean. Oceans are bodies of life, but people tend to forget that it is also a body of death. People drown, while others swim. The symbolism behind this served to only amplify the “paradoxical” function of the phrase “I’m sorry”, and you orchestrated it with such beauty that I am speechless.
    There was a certain rhythm in your repetition that instigated a feeling of back and forth, as though there is a trait of instability in human emotion. As a result, it amplifies the pathos in your writing, while simultaneously forcing the reader to reminisce to a time of personal sorrow and heartbreak.
    “I’m sorry” is an affirmative phrase; it is acknowledgement towards something that has happened. It also echoes throughout this entire piece even without you explicitly stating in because of the rhythm that you created.
    And that is absolutely astounding.

    I have no words for improvement. A piece of writing that can render people to tears has no room for improvement. Thank you for writing this; you are an inspiration.

    Sincerely,

    Queeny

    1. Dearest Queeny,

      I’m truly humbled by your kind, astute words and I’m honored that you chose to read and comment on my blog. I know not the words to say to show the gratitude I feel. What I do know, however, is that these two words will not suffice: thank you.

      To know that my writing has the power to bring tears to people’s eyes brings tears to my own and it’s truly a privilege to have a wonderful writer like you inform me of that. I thank you for your words once again, for they have reminded me of why it is so vital to keep writing amidst the ashes. They have encouraged me more than you will ever know.

      Yours very truly,

      Vanessa

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