The Current of Time

Autumn Forest

A quiet forest of maple trees in the autumn stretched before me, an infinite expanse that held me with warmth and comfort. As far as the eye could see, trees stood as tall, proud monuments of my past lives, both grand and insignificant. I walked in a forest where time ran as slowly as the amber sap glistening on the rough bark of trees. As I meandered aimlessly and peacefully I inhaled a deep, clean, woody scent, tinged with a slight sweetness. The air smelled like wind and autumn crispness… it smelled like fresh cinnamon sticks, like dried orange slices, like smoke and pumpkins and coffee. Sharp, aureate sunlight glanced off the mirror-like surface of a small, trickling creek which turned the gently flowing water into an opalescent reflection of the colors and vibrancies of the leaves. Spectral rays filtered through the canopy of leaves above, dappling the forest floor and transforming mine into a world where it rained vermillion and copper and golden and scarlet, all falling to create a carpet of fire at the base of nature’s towers. The water from the creek flowed gently but with intention… it was a lithe, crystalline snake.

As I allowed my feet to carry me uphill, the serene trickling of water against stone drew me to the source of the creek- a calm cascade that sung lullabies of amorphous desires. I closed my eyes and breathed in water vapor and the scents of apples and brown sugar, gingerbread and vanilla. Gradually, I began to hear a symphony of sounds. The birds’ carolings, the water as it trickled down stones and flowed downstream, the hum of crickets, and the rustling of leaves in the breeze all sung in flawless, rhapsodic four part harmony.

But my attention soon turned to the trees and to the leaves as they each reluctantly released their lifelong grip upon branches. Some leaves were easy prey; they were ripped by the wind from their sanctuaries as effortlessly as my finger cut through the crisp air. They fell helplessly into the tangled pile of bodies at the tree’s base, each new addition cutting off air supply, suffocating those that it fell on top of.

Others clung to branches stubbornly, refusing to be torn from the tree’s limbs. I admired these leaves.

As startlingly violent winds hinted at ensuing rain, the creek that had been flowing so calmly just a moment ago began surging rapidly, as though running from an oncoming predator. The former cascade was now a rushing waterfall of molten silver, spurting over rock, whirring and plunging into what became a fast-flowing river. The waterfall was composed of a million tiny threads of watery fabric that coalesced themselves together into one strong, lissome serpent before crashing and foaming at the base of the rock. The cacophonous sound it created drowned out the first roar of a distant thundering. As if with the purpose of adding to the churning, Caribbean-blue water, rain began to pour mercilessly from dark, threatening clouds.

And then, almost as if it were by magic, the rain ceased. The sky rumbled ominously but soon quieted. I squeezed my eyes shut, and before I opened them, I realized that I could no longer hear the roar and rush of the river; in its place I heard the quiet spillage of water onto a stone bed. I heard the soft slushing of currents with a honeyed lilt. Upon my bare toes, I could feel the smooth water as it slid, svelte, and my ears attuned to the tinkling sounds of its languid slink over rock beds.

Encouraged by the tranquil sounds consistent with serenity, I opened my eyes to a world transformed.

Dead ForestThe rain has washed out the flaming colors from the autumn leaves. What had once been amber, hazel, claret, russet, saffron, crimson, and marigold were now monochrome variations of the same dull grey. Onyx to snow, with a thousand shades in between. The world had been leached of color, drowned in a black-and-white filter, drenched in achromatic gloom.

And just as time had seemed to move slowly beforehand, I now realized that it had slipped through my fingers faster than the rain had washed away the autumn’s color.

 

 

Photos:

http://data.hdwallpapers.im/heavenly_autumn_forest.jpg

http://img07.deviantart.net/7b28/i/2006/122/3/e/dark_river_by_kuru93.jpg

 

 

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5 thoughts on “The Current of Time

  1. My dearest Ziyana,

    Your piece is…enchanting. From the moment I began reading I was in a trance of sorts, caught in the “vermilion and copper and golden and scarlet” of the maple trees. I was as if I could hear the creek, feel the breeze, and see the colors all dancing around me. It was serene; it was beautiful. I loved it.

    My favorite part of your blog was the transition you made between the beauty of autumn, and the sudden leach of color from the world around you. Your imagery…it was…beyond words. Absolutely flawless. It took me to another world. You are truly a gifted writer Ziyana. Be sure to open this gift to the world one day.

    In terms of improvement, I would offer that your piece needs more of a “climax” in order to engage your audience to an even greater degree. Currently, your climax was essentially the transition I mentioned earlier, however, I feel as though if you were to bring in other aspects, alongside the imagery you used, your piece would be more relatable. By “other aspects” I mean people. You need to personalize this piece a bit more.

    All in all, your piece flowed beautifully. I cannot begin to comprehend the potential in this piece.

    Yours truly,
    Sania

    1. Dear Sania,
      Thank you for reading my blog, and thank you for a beautiful comment! I really appreciate it. 🙂
      I love to write imagery- the idea of being able to create a world where every sense is stimulated is wonderful for me. I seek to make the reader feel immersed in my imagery, where everything is so vibrant that it must be real. I was really pleased to read that you picked up on that.
      You are absolutely right, I definitely needed to build up my climax more. Now that you have said that, it seems really obvious to me, so thank you for that piece of insight. As for the personalization of this piece, I left out personal effects and any characterizations intentionally. One of the things that I wanted to convey with this piece is that we are too caught up in our own lives to see the beauty of the natural world around us. That is why the narrator gives no details about his own life- I was attempting to use that as a way to show how taking a step back from our fixations around our own lives can be incredibly eye-opening. However, as this did not come across to the reader, if I use this technique in the future, I will need to rethink the way I do so.
      Thank you again for your comment. I really love that you took the time to read and comment on what I wrote, and I’m grateful for you insights.
      Infinite Love and Gratitude,
      Ziyana

  2. Dear Ziyana,
    I have read this piece over and over again and each time I struggle to find something to express how beautiful and exquisite this piece is. Hopefully I’ll be able to get it down this time.
    First off your diction is phenomenal. I cannot get over what an amazing writer you are. You really do justice to the words you speak.
    …I actually am struggling to find something to say. I have never read such a beautiful peace concerning nature and the flow of time. Especially since we’re in the middle of fall, the piece becomes very easy to imagine.
    I loved your beginning and your ending because it just completed the cycle. More so then that, I don’t know if this is what you were trying to do but I got the idea of “stop and smell the roses,” and when we face adversity, often times we lose sight of the beauty, only to realize our business has caused us to forget the beauty in the world. If not, I’m curious as to what you were trying to get across.
    If I could offer one suggestion it would be this, though your language is beautiful-sometimes less is more. Make your idea more pronounced, and use your amazing use of diction in that scenario.
    Really though, I have no words. You have astounded me once again Ziyana.

    Love,
    Sara

    1. Dear Sara-
      I am touched by your comment. It means so much to me, reading the wonderful things you’ve said about my writing- especially because it comes from you. Truly, it made me so happy to see that you had commented on my piece, and I really want to thank you for that, first of all.
      You were right on both accounts – one of the things that I wanted to convey with this piece is that we are too caught up in our own lives to see the beauty of the natural world around us. That is why the narrator gives no details about his own life- I was attempting to use that as a way to show how taking a step back from our fixations around our own lives can be incredibly eye-opening. As well, you may have noticed that when the narrator faces adversity, he is oblivious to all but the creek/river. This is, as you said, to exemplify that when we face adversity, we lose sight of the beauty and can focus only the cruelty and ugliness. As for the loss of color at the end, after we face hardship and are exposed to the harsh realities of the world, we can no longer see the world in the same way… some of the magic has been lost in our eyes. But the question is, has the world been leached of color, or has the narrator become colorblind?
      I hope that answers your question. 🙂
      I am also very grateful for your constructive criticism and I love getting feedback, so should you have any more suggestions for me, please let me know!
      Thanks again for taking the time to read my writing (multiples times, as you said) and for writing me a comment!
      Infinite Love and Gratitude,
      Ziyana

  3. My dearest Ziyana,

    Your piece is…enchanting. From the moment I began reading I was in a trance of sorts, caught in the “vermilion and copper and golden and scarlet” of the maple trees. I was as if I could hear the creek, feel the breeze, and see the colors all dancing around me. It was serene; it was beautiful. I loved it.

    My favorite part of your blog was the transition you made between the beauty of autumn, and the sudden leach of color from the world around you. Your imagery…it was…beyond words. Absolutely flawless. It took me to another world. You are truly a gifted writer Ziyana. Be sure to open this gift to the world one day.

    In terms of improvement, I would offer that your piece needs more of a “climax” in order to engage your audience to an even greater degree. Currently, your climax was essentially the transition I mentioned earlier, however, I feel as though if you were to bring in other aspects, alongside the imagery you used, your piece would be more relatable. By “other aspects” I mean people. You need to personalize this piece a bit more.

    All in all, your piece flowed beautifully. I cannot begin to comprehend the potential in this piece.

    Yours truly,
    Sania

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